parental observation

2 year olds are just short teenagers with speech impediments.

moving along

These past few days have been fairly productive for me. I moved both kids into cloth diapers, set up a clothes line on our balcony and finally finished reupholstering our dining room chairs.

Before (ugh):



And, after:

My main reason for moving the kids to cloth diapers, well, LB really, was because potty training is going NOWHERE. She refuses to sit on her potty, she'll start crying if we plunk her down on it. So, I want her to get the feeling of what peeing her pants really feels like. It's kinda frightening how absorbent disposable diapers are, even though they are so convenient, especially for going out with the kiddies. Buying LB 3 pull-ups cloth diapers cost the same as 128 disposable (non-pull-ups) diapers for her. I know it pays off in the long run... but to get started, especially now with $ stuff being what it is, well it's tricky.

I'd like to get a part-time job, at least, I think I'd like to. I'd probably hate it once I started, because it would have to be an evening/weekend job.
But with Tom's work schedule now, he's often not home till 6:30 or 7 p.m. I really don't think it's going to work right now for us both to have jobs, especially since I'd like one of us to be with the kids, not just leave them with someone else. Not right now.

So since I'm not making any money (sale of random stuff pending) I'm trying to find ways to save money.

1. After today, Tom and I are going to somehow make his lunch for the next day each evening.

2. I'm researching what we can buy at Costco to justify the $50/year membership.

3. Selling a ton of pre-pregnancy clothes at a consignment store, and other random stuff via craigslist.

4. Buying clothes needed only at consignment stores (or Salvation Army or Value Village), especially for the kids, since they grow out of clothes so quickly anyway.

5. Buying bread at local bakery (comparable price and much healthier).

6. Buying fruit and veggies from weekly Farmers' Market. Meat, fish and bread also available. LB and I checked one out on Sunday morning. I think we'll make it a weekly thing.

7. I'd like to get rid of my cell phone but since I'm locked into a contract, I'm going to stick it out and just use it as little as possible. Will be using Skype more often. $35/year gets you unlimited calls to anywhere in North America. Since my parents are a long-distance call, as is my Oma this will come in handy. Especially since I only have 100 daytime minutes/month (unlimited incoming calls). Stupid cell phones. With the $35/year I'll be able to call my bro in the UK for 2.95 c/minute. Sweet.

8. NOT buying a 2nd vehicle for Tom right now. He thought he'd be getting a work vehicle at the end of the month, but now he might not be. I feel like I need my car to be able to take the kids different places other than just where we (LB) can walk. But maybe we can just make a point of having evening outings, even if it's just me and LB going somewhere. A girl I know is selling a deisel VW Jetta that's a year newer than mine... and I'm sorely tempted to buy it and sell mine, but... I love my car. And we're the only owners... and it'll be paid of in February. But maybe I should look into trading. It would help a LOT for when we visit Tom's folks, and my folks.

Hmm.

neon

picnik!!

And I swore there'd be no photo of me in a bathing suit...

I cropped (my thiewghs) and edited this photo using picnik and I have to say there are 2 really awesome features about it that I've never noticed in other free photo editing sites.

1. the zit-zapper tool. Totally deletes those blasted blems. I used that with wild abandon on this photo.

2. The option to save the photo in it's original proportions after cropping. The program then adjusts the cropping slightly... and you have a wonderfully cropped and easily-printed-without-distortion photo! :)

Pits

LB is one month away from being 2, but I'd still remove the cherry pits before feeding her a cherry. My MIL feels differently, as I found out yesterday. Apparently, last week when LB spent the afternoon with my in-laws, she was being fed whole cherries. She didn't swallow any pits that they saw. But I remember when she spent a few days with them while I was in the hospital with LG, after I got home she had a HUGE upchuck in the middle of the night, covering herself. Within that mess were a bunch of cherry pits.

I think I'm really just never going to change my feelings on leaving my kids with them for longer than a few hours. They raised 2 children, but my MIL does things so differently, and there seems to always be something that I'm appalled at when I find out.

I guess there's only so much common ground to be reached.

missing her already

LB just left to spend the afternoon with Tom's parents. Her grandma was in a hurry to leave before rush hour got bad, so it was a flurried hug and kiss that I got from LB before she was whisked out the door and down the hall. No tears, just excitement, a loud "bye bye", a big grin, and a wave.

I watched from the balcony as she got into the van, and I called down to her to have fun, she looked up, saw me, grinned, and said "have fun!", and then she was tucked into the car seat and off.

I tried to catch a glimpse of her as they drove away, but the windows are tinted.

I want to do something that brings me happiness--something... something good. Something worthwhile. Something where I can feel ok that 99.9% of my attention isn't split between LB & LG. How do I get over feeling guilty when I need space from them? At the core of my silly self I don't ever want to be apart from LB. The bond with LG is still growing--I love him to bits, but I have a much easier time leaving him with my brother or Tom or his parents than I do with LB.

I'm just stuck.

go go go

Yesterday I spent all day cleaning the apartment for the arrival of the in-laws. It looked like a tornado went through here with all of us being sick. I mean, who cleans when they are sick? Ok, so I did yesterday, but I think it did me a lot of good, because I feel almost fine today.

Today I'm packing because we are driving to my parents' place tonight! Yay! Away from the sickies, I hope. Last night I couldn't sleep, and then around 1 a.m. after I'd been thoroughly ravaged and was starting to drift off, LB started coughing. I went to her bed and laid down with her, ready to sit her up if she started gagging. And gag she did. So I carried her out to the kitchen. Puke all you want on the linoleum! But of course, she didn't. She wanted down. Demanded "DOWN!" and ran back to her room, climbed into her bed, and face planted.

Poor kid.

She started coughing again, so I picked her up again and brought her out to the couch, where I sat down and held her in my lap, so she flaked in a sitting position at least. I waited till a while went by and she hadn't coughed, then laid her down in our bed. She said "NO!" and fell asleep again.

That was around 2 a.m. Then at 7 a.m. both of our cell phone alarms went off signaling it's time for Tom to get up for work. Of course, that woke Lily up and she would not go back to sleep.

Guh.

So I got up and actually got them out to the park for an hour and a half. When we got back, Lily went to her room, crawled into bed, tucked the blanket up around herself and fell asleep.

:(

I hope the heat and dryness of the interior fry all the bugs we seem to be living amidst.

Oooh and my parents live by a lake, and it's supposed to be HOT, so beach time here I come!! Don't count on seeing any pics of me in a bathing suit tho. Ha.

I'm excited to see my bro and hope the weekend will contain lots of footbagging and badminton and swimming and photography. :)

Is vomituous a word?

If it isn't, it should be. It's the perfect word to summarize last night.

LB has had a cough for the past few days. I'm hesitant to take her to the doctor because they'd probably just give her a cough suppressant. But after last night, maybe that would be a good idea. Her cough isn't bad during the day, and she runs around and plays and yells and coughs a bit, but no gagging. That comes at night. Coughing, gagging on phlegm, then the puking.

We put her to sleep in our bed to keep an eye on her, and to do damage control if she started puking. She fell asleep and we thought we could to. Then, the coughing started. We sat her up to help try to clear things out for her... no luck. And we didn't get her out of the bed fast enough. Tom took her to the change table to clean her up, and she continued to cough and then a LOT came up, all over Tom. And then MORE, all over the change table, Tom, and the carpet.

Tom looked at me, and I looked at him, dripping puke... and I started to gag. Normally I don't have a bad gag reflex when my kids are throwing up, but this time, it was stomach acid and apple and I couldn't deal with it. The room stank. So Tom was left to get in the bath with LB and clean her and himself off. I moved a sleeping LG into her room, into his old cradle which is awaiting pick-up by friends of ours. He kept sleeping. I stripped off the bottom sheet on the bed and used the top sheet as a bottom sheet. Then when LB was out of the bath, I sat her down in front of the tv in her towel on the couch to see if she'd cough up more. She didn't, but she did pee on the couch before I could get a diaper on her. She seemed all right, so I laid down with her in her bed, and she fell asleep. I waited a few minutes, but all seemed well. So I moved a still sleeping LG back to his crib and crawled into our bed. 5 minutes later, more coughing. I ran to her room, sat her up, and she spat up again, on her bed. I handed her off to Tom again and stripped the bed.

.... I can't really remember what happened after that. It was 2:30 am. Eventually she fell asleep and woke up at 8:00, ready for her day. I woke up sick, having finally caught the bug that has been plaguing Tom and LB for the past few days.

So I feel ya, ghost, on the whole puke-o-rama ordeal.

This about sums up the night we had

Poor LB. Her fever was up to 39.2C / 102.5F last night all of a sudden. And LG is stuffed up and coughing... he slept through the night all right though. LB couldn't fall asleep till well after 3 a.m. even though she was SO tired. She kept just wanting us to hold her. And sitting and holding her wouldn't do. We had to stand and hold her. She's 30 lbs. That gets tiring after a while. We broke down and gave her some infant tylenol (ugh) but it took a couple of hours before she finally fully fell asleep. That was after spitting up on our bed, so she and I slept on the pull-out couch and Tom slept on the bed (with minimal bedding) to keep an ear on LG.

Today LB's fever is lower, but I know they tend to spike in the evening. LG is all snotty and coughing, but through it all, he's such a sweetie. He has these coughing fits, and then as soon as he's done he gives me a big dimply grin. Aw.

Funny how one phone call can change a mood

I've been feeling all weird, like I'm in some mental limbo lately. But just now, my friend A called and we are going to meet up tomorrow after almost 2 weeks of not seeing each other. It's funny how we met, actually. She's a local mom, just lives a 5 minute walk from me, so we frequent the same park. We started talking at the sandbox after her son S tried to feed LB a pine cone. We'd see each other now and again at the park for the next two weeks after that, and then one Monday after I came back from a week in Kelowna, she came up to me (at the park, of course) and asked if LB and LG and I would like to join her and S in going to these little morning activities for kids they have around here--pre-pre-school type of things. I don't have the car, which was part of the reason she asked me... I think, to help me out. The next morning we squeezed my 2 car seats on either side of S's and we were off. We went out 3 times that week and a few times each of the following weeks. The week before last we had a play date over at their home... LB and S seem to like each other fairly well, although S is much more outgoing. So that blows LB away sometimes. But I'm really enjoying getting together with A. We talk easily, all the time... and we are similar in interesting ways. She's started her own home-based business; I want to. She's from Ontario; so am I. She has a degree in English lit; I have a diploma in writing. We were both married on stormy February days. And we are both the no-make up, pulled-back-hair, jeans-sweatshirts&sneakers type. :) I've lost touch with close friends from high school and now from college... although I do have a lot of good friends online. :) It's nice to know another mom that I'm friends with and our kids get along.

I know another mom, her hubby and Tom are old friends from high school, and they have a 1 year old son... but whenever she and I meet up, it's kind of all cautious and awkward. You know? There's no instant 'click'. She's supposed to be stopping by today actually, to pick up some old baby clothes for a friend of hers. Our last meeting fell through; she didn't show up, didn't call or email or anything until a couple of days later... so we'll see about this one.

Tomorrow my friend N (married to another of Tom's hs buddies) is stopping by and we are going to have one of our Costco adventures. She doesn't have any kids yet, but LB has really taken to her, and N is awesome with LG, too. She came over the first day I spent home alone with the 2 of them, and if she hadn't been there... wow. LB was super clingy, so N had to feed and take care of LG basically. And she just comes over from 45 min-1hr drive away, feeds me, plays with Lily and just balances me out when things get hairy.

So I guess the sudden realization that I do have friends, coupled with my recent ability to keep on top of the laundry, vacuuming, dishes, meals, baths, diapers, etc. really picked me up out of this funk I've been in. I feel... happy.

Because sometimes I wonder...

I'm one of the only stay-at-home moms I know. Sometimes I feel lame because I don't have a job and I'm not contributing financially to our family's well-being. Sometimes I lump everything I do in a day into the phrase "stay at home with the kids".

But that's not fair to myself. Today, I took note of what I did... and I surprised myself.

My day started with going to bed around 1 a.m. after spending some time with Tom who didn't get home from work till around 11:30 p.m. On Sunday. Yes. Sucky.

Then...

Up at 6:45 to feed LG—LB got up at 7:15. Prepped Tom 2 chicken salad sandwiches to go with the salad I made the night before. Made LB a breakfast of whole-grain oatmeal with apple chunks, changed diapers, dressed the kids, packed the diaper bag, and got the kids in the car and off to Circle of Friends by 9 a.m. Getting there included the drive, and then carrying LG in his car seat (about 20 lbs all together) and the diaper bag and holding LB’s hand as we walked a block and then through a school. Followed LB around and played, did puzzles, coloured and read books till nearly 11 a.m.

Home a little after 11, LB fell asleep in the car—carried her (30lbs) in one arm and LG and his car seat (20lbs) and the diaper bag back up to the apartment. Ate lunch, caught up on some e-mails, fed LG, LB woke up at 1230, fed her a lunch of chicken salad on squirrely bread. Played with LB, put a load of laundry in, made butterscotch pudding and then off to the park at 1:30.

At the park, I watched LB as she climbed, played in the sandbox with her and and pushed her on the swing. Back home in a hurry at 3:00 with a hungry baby. Fed LG, had a snack with LB, watched 1 hour of TV with LB (aka mommy’s down time), made another batch of formula, changed the laundry loads and folded laundry, changed LB’s bed sheets, coloured with LB and then strapped LG into the Snugli, LB into the stroller and went to Safeway to get groceries, the bakery to get bread and the dollar store to get more bubble soap. Back home, emptied the dishwasher, prepped a dinner of chicken, rice and steamed carrots.

Now it's 6:50 p.m. LB and I have both had dinner and she is busy dusting everything in sight with our fuzzy duster. LG is sleeping but should be up soon for another meal. LB's bed time is 9:30, but we'll see if she falls asleep easily without Tom being home. He's working late tonight, which means he probably won't be home much before midnight.

I can't imagine how all the moms who also work full-time do it! Right now I'm feeling very lucky that I'm able to stay at home with our kids rather than spending 1/2 of my pay cheque each month for someone else to care for them. So really who cares that I don't make money.... cuddles from my daughter and giggles from my son are worth more than any pay cheque! :)

our little bunny

10 minutes in my life

Tom comes out of the bedroom from changing LG's diaper and tells me that LB now says "powder" (as in baby powder... can you see where this is going?), but she says it like "pallow". I've heard her say that, but still my mind lingers on the cuteness of every word she mispronounces... and then my mind switches over--where is she?

On our bed, vigorously shaking "pallow" all over our unmade bed. That is to say she got it on the sheets and the comforter, and probably on the clean laundry.

I don't yell, or say NO or BAD... instead I quietly tell her that powder goes on bum-bums, not beds. Very seriously she looks back at me, only to say "Ya. Pallow. Bed." I repeat the part about powder only going on bum-bums, and she replies: "Ya. Pallow. Bum Bum."

Dang skippy.

Tom says he'll clean it up and I, much relieved, head off to have some microwaved rice for dinner, and try to unwind for 10 seconds while catching up on Dooce. 6 of those seconds go by before LB is clamoring to be UP because Tom apparently got out the "ya-foo" to clean up the "pallow". And so my 10 seconds of peace now includes a toddler in my lap who now wants to share my rice, even though she didn't want HER rice and chicken 5 minutes ago.

We go back to the kitchen where I get my second course: cheese. She's seen Tom with his juice and asks for some. I make her some diluted juice and grab some cheese. She sees this and hands me the cup saying "no" and reaching for the cheese. So I give her my piece of cheese.

Sigh.

Now she's sharing yo-yo with Tom, he's spoon-feeding it to her... and she's insisting not only that the yo-yo be in a bowl ("yo-yo. bowl") before she would have any of it, but also that bowl has to be on the high chair ("yo-yo. down") in front of her. So of course Tom asked her if she wanted the yo-yo brought to her suite... along with her boots.

I'm back

It's Mothers' Day. I'm just back from changing a mondo peanut butter poopie my son gave me. I even stuck my thumb in it.

I told my hubby not to get me flowers because they are so over-priced and die far too quickly anyway. We arrived home from my week at my parents' place at 1:30 this morning. I drove the entire 4 hour drive home because Tom had driven the 4 hour drive there only hours before. Plus I had a coffee. And I get car sick if I'm in a car but not driving. We hit a snowstorm about an hour into the drive. INSANE. The snow was coming so thick and fast it was hypnotic and I could barely see the road. I was crawling from white post to white post on the side of the road that didn't drop off the side of the mountain. But we made it home in one piece. And both kids woke up of course. LG just wanted to eat and then he went back to sleep, sweet boy that he is. But LB was wide awake and excited to be back home... and didn't fall asleep till nearly 4 a.m. in our bed... then LG woke up again to be fed around 5 a.m. and they both woke up again at 8 a.m.

Fortunately I'm a morning person for the first few hours of the day. I brought up a load of our stuff from the car, and when Tomek asked me what I wanted for breakfast, I realized I was jonesing for an omelette. We didn't have all the ingredients, so we popped the kids into their strollers and walked to the store for some ham and a green pepper. I enjoy making omelettes, even though they usually end up totally scrambled. Egg, with diced green pepper and onion (soaked in boiling water for 15 minutes to soften and sweeten), diced ham and shredded cheese. A good tip is to add 1 tbsp of water for every 2 eggs. That, with butter coating the bottom of the pan, guarantees a nearly no-stick omelette!

Then it was time for LB to nap, so I put her down, and as I was walking back down the hall, LG woke up. Of course. I'd hoped to nap when they both napped to catch up on sleep, but that isn't going to happen since LG is on my lap right now trying unsuccessfully to burp. Then he was crying and had the big dump I mentioned above, and LB started crying... so Tomek went back to bed with LB because I think she's having trouble sleeping on her own after sleeping with me for over a week.

What I'd really like to do today is clean out and organize the junk drawer in my dresser. If LB sleeps and LG calms down maybe I will.

Contrast III

On a brighter note, (after that little rant about doctors) Mella's got me totally hooked on photo editing via Picasa, especially with the focal b&w tool. :)

Losing faith in doctors

We've been a nearly full house of sickies lately. I haven't caught the bug yet, thank goodness. But Tomek got sick about 2 weeks ago, and last week LG caught it as well. A few days ago, LB started looking a little feverish and now she's snotty and restless.

Lately we've also been worried about LG's belly button. It pops out sometimes and when we press on it (gently) we can hear liquid sloshing around right under the skin. I was worried he may have an umbilical hernia so I called his pediatrician last Friday to make an appointment. The appointment isn't until tomorrow, so on Friday I asked the woman who booked the appointment if she thought I should wait that long, given what our worry was. She happened to have a Dr. next to her and asked him/her. The Dr. said to bring LG in that day to see one of the walk-in clinic Drs. (His pediatrician has an office but it's a ways away and every Thursday he's at a walk-in clinic near where we live.) When Tomek got home from work he took LG to that walk-in clinic and the Dr. told him that a) that's just the way LG's belly button is and it'll probably be like that for the rest of his life and b) his temperature was half a degree (celcius) higher than it should be and we should take him to the emergency room at the hospital.

I'm waiting till our appointment with the pediatrician tomorrow to see if she was right about his belly button. I'm thinking she may have just felt it when it wasn't popped out. As for the emergency room visit... it never happened. We checked his temperature again when they got home, and it was 0.2 degrees LOWER than what it normally is when I take his temperature. It was 37.3C, which is just a tad above 98.6F. Was I going to take him to the emergency room and have him sitting in there for 3+ hours surrounded by sick people when a slight fever is just a sign that his body is doing what it's SUPPOSED to do and fighting something?

NO.

His fever is gone now, and he's fine other than a bit of congestion in his nose.

Maybe that Dr. felt she had to say that so it wasn't resting on her conscience. I don't know. But I'm getting really frustrated with the medical system here--the lack of doctors to be specific.

Contrast II

inspired by Mella

One of those nights

11 p.m.: LB is in her bed in her room, Tomek and I are in our bed, LG is in his crib. All are sleeping.

6:00 a.m.: I am in LB's bed, LB is in our bed, Tomek is on the couch in the living room, and LG is in his little blue chair, also in the living room. Only 2 are sleeping.

Gosh darn it

So I was playing Mario Bros on our state-of-the-art Super Nintendo and Luigi died, yet again. LG was sleeping on the couch beside me and LB was sitting on the floor avidly watching the antics of the tiny superhero.

Wrapped up in leaping over little critters and collecting coins, frustrated at having died yet AGAIN, I let out an expletive.

And from in front of me, LB chimed in, "Sit!"