I want to do something that brings me happiness--something... something good. Something worthwhile. Something where I can feel ok that 99.9% of my attention isn't split between LB & LG. How do I get over feeling guilty when I need space from them? At the core of my silly self I don't ever want to be apart from LB. The bond with LG is still growing--I love him to bits, but I have a much easier time leaving him with my brother or Tom or his parents than I do with LB.
I'm just stuck.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
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3 comments:
You NEED to take some time away from your kids once in a while. If you entire life revolves around just them, you're going to get burned out and start to resent them for monopolising all your time. Even if it means leaving the kids with Tom and taking the car for a little drive.
I need to "get away" about once every 2 weeks, and it usually means I spend an hour or two shopping by myself. It just helps me centre and calm, and clear my head. Then I can come back to the house refreshed and WANTING to see Elayne and Chris.
I totally understand about not wanting to leave them - I am the same way - I would love to have Elayne with me 100% of the time, and would like to plan things specifically so that she can come, but I do need to get away and do things for me, too.
We took Elayne to Kung-Foo Panda in the theatre. She loved it and sat through the whole thing. You guys could go see it at a Stars and Stroller's screening. Lily might like it. Then you all get a treat.
I agree with morgan in that you need to take a break periodically. As for what brings you happiness, I think only you can answer that. What in the past have been some of the most happy moments in your life? Maybe there is something to those moments that can be repeated to bring you at least part way there again.
You need to maintain your autonomy; it's healthy. Those babies are gonna grow up and leave you, you know.
This motherhood guilt is another Hallmark legacy; there's an idea that motherhood is effortless and natural and that you never have 'negative' feelings.
The truth is, sometimes you just need to get away from the little fuckers for a few minutes. That doesn't mean you don't love them!
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