Is vomituous a word?

If it isn't, it should be. It's the perfect word to summarize last night.

LB has had a cough for the past few days. I'm hesitant to take her to the doctor because they'd probably just give her a cough suppressant. But after last night, maybe that would be a good idea. Her cough isn't bad during the day, and she runs around and plays and yells and coughs a bit, but no gagging. That comes at night. Coughing, gagging on phlegm, then the puking.

We put her to sleep in our bed to keep an eye on her, and to do damage control if she started puking. She fell asleep and we thought we could to. Then, the coughing started. We sat her up to help try to clear things out for her... no luck. And we didn't get her out of the bed fast enough. Tom took her to the change table to clean her up, and she continued to cough and then a LOT came up, all over Tom. And then MORE, all over the change table, Tom, and the carpet.

Tom looked at me, and I looked at him, dripping puke... and I started to gag. Normally I don't have a bad gag reflex when my kids are throwing up, but this time, it was stomach acid and apple and I couldn't deal with it. The room stank. So Tom was left to get in the bath with LB and clean her and himself off. I moved a sleeping LG into her room, into his old cradle which is awaiting pick-up by friends of ours. He kept sleeping. I stripped off the bottom sheet on the bed and used the top sheet as a bottom sheet. Then when LB was out of the bath, I sat her down in front of the tv in her towel on the couch to see if she'd cough up more. She didn't, but she did pee on the couch before I could get a diaper on her. She seemed all right, so I laid down with her in her bed, and she fell asleep. I waited a few minutes, but all seemed well. So I moved a still sleeping LG back to his crib and crawled into our bed. 5 minutes later, more coughing. I ran to her room, sat her up, and she spat up again, on her bed. I handed her off to Tom again and stripped the bed.

.... I can't really remember what happened after that. It was 2:30 am. Eventually she fell asleep and woke up at 8:00, ready for her day. I woke up sick, having finally caught the bug that has been plaguing Tom and LB for the past few days.

So I feel ya, ghost, on the whole puke-o-rama ordeal.

Shhh....

This about sums up the night we had

Poor LB. Her fever was up to 39.2C / 102.5F last night all of a sudden. And LG is stuffed up and coughing... he slept through the night all right though. LB couldn't fall asleep till well after 3 a.m. even though she was SO tired. She kept just wanting us to hold her. And sitting and holding her wouldn't do. We had to stand and hold her. She's 30 lbs. That gets tiring after a while. We broke down and gave her some infant tylenol (ugh) but it took a couple of hours before she finally fully fell asleep. That was after spitting up on our bed, so she and I slept on the pull-out couch and Tom slept on the bed (with minimal bedding) to keep an ear on LG.

Today LB's fever is lower, but I know they tend to spike in the evening. LG is all snotty and coughing, but through it all, he's such a sweetie. He has these coughing fits, and then as soon as he's done he gives me a big dimply grin. Aw.

He's a dream

Funny how one phone call can change a mood

I've been feeling all weird, like I'm in some mental limbo lately. But just now, my friend A called and we are going to meet up tomorrow after almost 2 weeks of not seeing each other. It's funny how we met, actually. She's a local mom, just lives a 5 minute walk from me, so we frequent the same park. We started talking at the sandbox after her son S tried to feed LB a pine cone. We'd see each other now and again at the park for the next two weeks after that, and then one Monday after I came back from a week in Kelowna, she came up to me (at the park, of course) and asked if LB and LG and I would like to join her and S in going to these little morning activities for kids they have around here--pre-pre-school type of things. I don't have the car, which was part of the reason she asked me... I think, to help me out. The next morning we squeezed my 2 car seats on either side of S's and we were off. We went out 3 times that week and a few times each of the following weeks. The week before last we had a play date over at their home... LB and S seem to like each other fairly well, although S is much more outgoing. So that blows LB away sometimes. But I'm really enjoying getting together with A. We talk easily, all the time... and we are similar in interesting ways. She's started her own home-based business; I want to. She's from Ontario; so am I. She has a degree in English lit; I have a diploma in writing. We were both married on stormy February days. And we are both the no-make up, pulled-back-hair, jeans-sweatshirts&sneakers type. :) I've lost touch with close friends from high school and now from college... although I do have a lot of good friends online. :) It's nice to know another mom that I'm friends with and our kids get along.

I know another mom, her hubby and Tom are old friends from high school, and they have a 1 year old son... but whenever she and I meet up, it's kind of all cautious and awkward. You know? There's no instant 'click'. She's supposed to be stopping by today actually, to pick up some old baby clothes for a friend of hers. Our last meeting fell through; she didn't show up, didn't call or email or anything until a couple of days later... so we'll see about this one.

Tomorrow my friend N (married to another of Tom's hs buddies) is stopping by and we are going to have one of our Costco adventures. She doesn't have any kids yet, but LB has really taken to her, and N is awesome with LG, too. She came over the first day I spent home alone with the 2 of them, and if she hadn't been there... wow. LB was super clingy, so N had to feed and take care of LG basically. And she just comes over from 45 min-1hr drive away, feeds me, plays with Lily and just balances me out when things get hairy.

So I guess the sudden realization that I do have friends, coupled with my recent ability to keep on top of the laundry, vacuuming, dishes, meals, baths, diapers, etc. really picked me up out of this funk I've been in. I feel... happy.

Because sometimes I wonder...

I'm one of the only stay-at-home moms I know. Sometimes I feel lame because I don't have a job and I'm not contributing financially to our family's well-being. Sometimes I lump everything I do in a day into the phrase "stay at home with the kids".

But that's not fair to myself. Today, I took note of what I did... and I surprised myself.

My day started with going to bed around 1 a.m. after spending some time with Tom who didn't get home from work till around 11:30 p.m. On Sunday. Yes. Sucky.

Then...

Up at 6:45 to feed LG—LB got up at 7:15. Prepped Tom 2 chicken salad sandwiches to go with the salad I made the night before. Made LB a breakfast of whole-grain oatmeal with apple chunks, changed diapers, dressed the kids, packed the diaper bag, and got the kids in the car and off to Circle of Friends by 9 a.m. Getting there included the drive, and then carrying LG in his car seat (about 20 lbs all together) and the diaper bag and holding LB’s hand as we walked a block and then through a school. Followed LB around and played, did puzzles, coloured and read books till nearly 11 a.m.

Home a little after 11, LB fell asleep in the car—carried her (30lbs) in one arm and LG and his car seat (20lbs) and the diaper bag back up to the apartment. Ate lunch, caught up on some e-mails, fed LG, LB woke up at 1230, fed her a lunch of chicken salad on squirrely bread. Played with LB, put a load of laundry in, made butterscotch pudding and then off to the park at 1:30.

At the park, I watched LB as she climbed, played in the sandbox with her and and pushed her on the swing. Back home in a hurry at 3:00 with a hungry baby. Fed LG, had a snack with LB, watched 1 hour of TV with LB (aka mommy’s down time), made another batch of formula, changed the laundry loads and folded laundry, changed LB’s bed sheets, coloured with LB and then strapped LG into the Snugli, LB into the stroller and went to Safeway to get groceries, the bakery to get bread and the dollar store to get more bubble soap. Back home, emptied the dishwasher, prepped a dinner of chicken, rice and steamed carrots.

Now it's 6:50 p.m. LB and I have both had dinner and she is busy dusting everything in sight with our fuzzy duster. LG is sleeping but should be up soon for another meal. LB's bed time is 9:30, but we'll see if she falls asleep easily without Tom being home. He's working late tonight, which means he probably won't be home much before midnight.

I can't imagine how all the moms who also work full-time do it! Right now I'm feeling very lucky that I'm able to stay at home with our kids rather than spending 1/2 of my pay cheque each month for someone else to care for them. So really who cares that I don't make money.... cuddles from my daughter and giggles from my son are worth more than any pay cheque! :)

HI!

I'm back

It's Mothers' Day. I'm just back from changing a mondo peanut butter poopie my son gave me. I even stuck my thumb in it.

I told my hubby not to get me flowers because they are so over-priced and die far too quickly anyway. We arrived home from my week at my parents' place at 1:30 this morning. I drove the entire 4 hour drive home because Tom had driven the 4 hour drive there only hours before. Plus I had a coffee. And I get car sick if I'm in a car but not driving. We hit a snowstorm about an hour into the drive. INSANE. The snow was coming so thick and fast it was hypnotic and I could barely see the road. I was crawling from white post to white post on the side of the road that didn't drop off the side of the mountain. But we made it home in one piece. And both kids woke up of course. LG just wanted to eat and then he went back to sleep, sweet boy that he is. But LB was wide awake and excited to be back home... and didn't fall asleep till nearly 4 a.m. in our bed... then LG woke up again to be fed around 5 a.m. and they both woke up again at 8 a.m.

Fortunately I'm a morning person for the first few hours of the day. I brought up a load of our stuff from the car, and when Tomek asked me what I wanted for breakfast, I realized I was jonesing for an omelette. We didn't have all the ingredients, so we popped the kids into their strollers and walked to the store for some ham and a green pepper. I enjoy making omelettes, even though they usually end up totally scrambled. Egg, with diced green pepper and onion (soaked in boiling water for 15 minutes to soften and sweeten), diced ham and shredded cheese. A good tip is to add 1 tbsp of water for every 2 eggs. That, with butter coating the bottom of the pan, guarantees a nearly no-stick omelette!

Then it was time for LB to nap, so I put her down, and as I was walking back down the hall, LG woke up. Of course. I'd hoped to nap when they both napped to catch up on sleep, but that isn't going to happen since LG is on my lap right now trying unsuccessfully to burp. Then he was crying and had the big dump I mentioned above, and LB started crying... so Tomek went back to bed with LB because I think she's having trouble sleeping on her own after sleeping with me for over a week.

What I'd really like to do today is clean out and organize the junk drawer in my dresser. If LB sleeps and LG calms down maybe I will.

I was right. I hate being right.

Especially when it means my little boy DOES have an umbilical hernia. It might heal itself by the time he turns 2, however, and I hope it does. If not, there's a procedure that'll need to be done to fix it. And turns out the red splotch on his left eyelid is a stork bite (birthmark) which may or may not get bigger.

Sigh.

Today is the day I go to the cemetery and hunt down my grandparents' graves. Perfect activity for a sunny day, eh?

By the way, Robynn's second daughter is arriving on Monday via c-section. Best wishes for a speedy recovery!

at this moment

Also, I just purchased this print by A Softer World. It kicked me right in the gut.

Losing faith in doctors

We've been a nearly full house of sickies lately. I haven't caught the bug yet, thank goodness. But Tomek got sick about 2 weeks ago, and last week LG caught it as well. A few days ago, LB started looking a little feverish and now she's snotty and restless.

Lately we've also been worried about LG's belly button. It pops out sometimes and when we press on it (gently) we can hear liquid sloshing around right under the skin. I was worried he may have an umbilical hernia so I called his pediatrician last Friday to make an appointment. The appointment isn't until tomorrow, so on Friday I asked the woman who booked the appointment if she thought I should wait that long, given what our worry was. She happened to have a Dr. next to her and asked him/her. The Dr. said to bring LG in that day to see one of the walk-in clinic Drs. (His pediatrician has an office but it's a ways away and every Thursday he's at a walk-in clinic near where we live.) When Tomek got home from work he took LG to that walk-in clinic and the Dr. told him that a) that's just the way LG's belly button is and it'll probably be like that for the rest of his life and b) his temperature was half a degree (celcius) higher than it should be and we should take him to the emergency room at the hospital.

I'm waiting till our appointment with the pediatrician tomorrow to see if she was right about his belly button. I'm thinking she may have just felt it when it wasn't popped out. As for the emergency room visit... it never happened. We checked his temperature again when they got home, and it was 0.2 degrees LOWER than what it normally is when I take his temperature. It was 37.3C, which is just a tad above 98.6F. Was I going to take him to the emergency room and have him sitting in there for 3+ hours surrounded by sick people when a slight fever is just a sign that his body is doing what it's SUPPOSED to do and fighting something?

NO.

His fever is gone now, and he's fine other than a bit of congestion in his nose.

Maybe that Dr. felt she had to say that so it wasn't resting on her conscience. I don't know. But I'm getting really frustrated with the medical system here--the lack of doctors to be specific.

One of those nights

11 p.m.: LB is in her bed in her room, Tomek and I are in our bed, LG is in his crib. All are sleeping.

6:00 a.m.: I am in LB's bed, LB is in our bed, Tomek is on the couch in the living room, and LG is in his little blue chair, also in the living room. Only 2 are sleeping.

*smooch*

Beyond tired

LG didn't go to sleep till 2 a.m. last night and that was only after I left him to scream until he wore himself out. Horrible. Then he woke up at 5:30 a.m.

I think I can only take 1 more night of this although it would be good if I stayed longer since my parents and brother so rarely see us. My mom has evening classes Tuesday and Thursday so either we go tomorrow.... or not until Friday since she is the one to drive us home. And if it's going to be Friday I might as well get Tomek to drive out here after work and get us.

I don't know. I like being out here, but it's a lot of work and not a lot of rest... and Friday seems awfully far away.

In just two months...

...what a difference.

Our little superman

I think he wants to be a superhero when he grows up.

Nights have been interesting, but not too torturous. The past couple of night he's had his awake time starting at 10 p.m. He eats, and then he just hangs out with Tomek and I. It's really nice, because LB goes to bed at 9:30, so we have time to devote to paying attention to just him. By midnight he'll still be awake and we'll feed him again and then within half an hour he'll be asleep, and he'll sleep for FIVE hours. Sometimes SIX... I hope I'm not jinxing myself here.

Last night he threw us a curveball. I was waiting for him to wake up by 10, but when he hadn't by 11:30, I put myself to bed. He woke up at 2:30 and Tomek got up changed him and fed him. I think I meant to get up and help, but the next thing I knew it was 3:30 a.m. and Tomek was not beside me. I went out into the living room where he was STILL with LG. He said LG wasn't burping. I felt guilty because he's the one that's supposed to get up at 6 a.m. to go to work. So I took over with LG and Tomek crashed back into bed. I figured LG was hungry again, so I laid him on the couch while I prepped his bottle. He started hollering, so I warmed the bottle, ran to the bathroom for a quick pee, grabbed some receiving blankets on my way out of our bedroom, and... LB was standing in the hall.

Great.

Tomek got up again, and put her back into her bed. He was going to lie with her so she didn't get up again but she was ok so he went back to our bed. I fed LG, waited 1/2 hour for him to burp... he didn't. I put him in his bed, and fell into our bed. 45 minutes later I woke up to the sound of LB hollering. It was odd that she hadn't gotten herself out of bed, but maybe now she's going to develop a fear of the dark. I hope not. I nudged Tomek and he went and brought her into bed with us. Am I a lazy wife or what? At one point in the night while sleeping on her back she propped her foot up on my face. I moved it to my shoulder and we all slept till Tomek got up in the morning. Fortunately, LB and LG stayed a sleep for a couple more hours, and only woke up just as he was leaving.

Before he left for work, he said "I don't remember you bringing LB to bed with us."

"I didn't," I replied. "You did."

If only for a moment...

In the wee hours

long week short

My mom and brother were here for the week last week. LB started waking up a lot during the night, we thought it was teething, but when her temperature spiked at 104F/40C on Wednesday night, it was time to take her to the doctor. Tom and I took her to a pediatrician walk-in clinic and got there 10 minutes after it opened. Even so, there was already a 1 1/2 hour wait. So we drove back home, switched the car seats to my mom's car, Tom went to work and my mom and I took the kiddies back to the Dr. 2 hours later. She waited in the car with LG and I went into the clinic with LB. I STILL had to wait over half an hour. LB fell asleep in my lap which was really odd behaviour for her. The Dr. assisting the pediatrician came to see us first. She looked in LB's ears, and to do that I had to pin LB's head to my chest and her arms against herself, which didn't help matters since she was already scared and upset. Then she tried to look down LB's throat, but LB bit down on the popsicle stick so the lady had to GAG LB to get her to open her mouth. :( Everything looked good, so then the actual pediatrician came in and repeated all the checks, so LB got gagged again.

When they found out she's not been immunized they kind of freaked out and decided to get a urine and blood sample from her. To get the urine they taped a bag to her kitty and told me to go out and give her water and walk her till she peed. Plus we had to go to the lab and see if they could get blood from LB. She's old enough now that they take it from the arm, not the foot.

We went to the lab and the lady behind the counter was totally mrs. doom and gloom. She had to put a stop on everything, saying how everything we needed done probably couldn't be done and I'd probably have to go to the children's hospital (1 hour away) to get blood drawn from LB because the hospital had the EQUIPMENT to do it. Well, the nurse at the lab was awesome. Cheerful and positive. She said LB had a nice big vein and just had to get mrs. doom and gloom to hold LB's arm down while she drew the blood. LB was already crying from being scared and tired, because by this time it was WAY past her nap time. I was so impressed that she didn't scream or shriek or freak out and try to yank her arm away while they were drawing the blood. But she probably didn't realize what they were doing. They gave her a sticker afterwards, and normally she loves stickers. But she didn't want anything to do with the one they were offering her. Then I took her to the bathroom and checked her bag and it looked like there was pee in it.

So back to the clinic we went (all this time my mom has been sitting in the car with LG) and waited about 10 minutes to get into a room, the same room we were in before, so LB starts crying because she recognizes it. I got yet ANOTHER bitchy lady who checked her bag and told me there wasn't enough in there. So out we went again. I bought some water and a bagel and we went to the car to eat and drink. 45 minutes later there was still no pee and it was 2:30 p.m. My mom and LG couldn't just sit in the car all day, and the Dr had told me that there were other options for getting pee from LB. One was to go home with the bag and then drop it off at a lab close to home. The other option was a catheter. So I went back to the clinic with LB again and waited about 20 min to see the Dr. We decided she'd put a catheter in and use a syringe at the end of the tube to draw some pee out. If there was any in there. The catheter hadn't been painful for me when LG arrived, so I felt fine with her putting one in LB. Anything so that we could be done with the Dr stuff and get her home and not scared and crying anymore. So another Dr came in and pinned her legs open and down and the main Dr got some pee out. THEN we got to drive home.

LB flaked in the car right away and when we got home I laid down with her in her new big bed (which is another story) and...

photo taken by my lil bro

She's doing a lot better now. We haven't had to give her infant tylenol since before the Dr visit. I understand the value of something that reduces the fever to help kids sleep better when they are ill, but I can't help wondering if by suppressing the fever it's also hampering the body from fighting whatever virus its trying to beat. Can't ask a Dr. To them tylenol and vaccinations are perfectly safe. It's IMPOSSIBLE to get a Dr to even acknowledge there might be anything not so great about giving a child these. I found it so bizarre when I was in the hospital and taking a mix of tylenol and advil every two hours and pumping and the nurse said it was perfectly safe for my premature baby. Maybe the amount he was getting was so small it wouldn't matter... but then HE was tiny, too.

Sometimes it's hard to keep a strong belief when everyone around me disagrees.

4 a.m.