moving along

These past few days have been fairly productive for me. I moved both kids into cloth diapers, set up a clothes line on our balcony and finally finished reupholstering our dining room chairs.

Before (ugh):



And, after:

My main reason for moving the kids to cloth diapers, well, LB really, was because potty training is going NOWHERE. She refuses to sit on her potty, she'll start crying if we plunk her down on it. So, I want her to get the feeling of what peeing her pants really feels like. It's kinda frightening how absorbent disposable diapers are, even though they are so convenient, especially for going out with the kiddies. Buying LB 3 pull-ups cloth diapers cost the same as 128 disposable (non-pull-ups) diapers for her. I know it pays off in the long run... but to get started, especially now with $ stuff being what it is, well it's tricky.

I'd like to get a part-time job, at least, I think I'd like to. I'd probably hate it once I started, because it would have to be an evening/weekend job.
But with Tom's work schedule now, he's often not home till 6:30 or 7 p.m. I really don't think it's going to work right now for us both to have jobs, especially since I'd like one of us to be with the kids, not just leave them with someone else. Not right now.

So since I'm not making any money (sale of random stuff pending) I'm trying to find ways to save money.

1. After today, Tom and I are going to somehow make his lunch for the next day each evening.

2. I'm researching what we can buy at Costco to justify the $50/year membership.

3. Selling a ton of pre-pregnancy clothes at a consignment store, and other random stuff via craigslist.

4. Buying clothes needed only at consignment stores (or Salvation Army or Value Village), especially for the kids, since they grow out of clothes so quickly anyway.

5. Buying bread at local bakery (comparable price and much healthier).

6. Buying fruit and veggies from weekly Farmers' Market. Meat, fish and bread also available. LB and I checked one out on Sunday morning. I think we'll make it a weekly thing.

7. I'd like to get rid of my cell phone but since I'm locked into a contract, I'm going to stick it out and just use it as little as possible. Will be using Skype more often. $35/year gets you unlimited calls to anywhere in North America. Since my parents are a long-distance call, as is my Oma this will come in handy. Especially since I only have 100 daytime minutes/month (unlimited incoming calls). Stupid cell phones. With the $35/year I'll be able to call my bro in the UK for 2.95 c/minute. Sweet.

8. NOT buying a 2nd vehicle for Tom right now. He thought he'd be getting a work vehicle at the end of the month, but now he might not be. I feel like I need my car to be able to take the kids different places other than just where we (LB) can walk. But maybe we can just make a point of having evening outings, even if it's just me and LB going somewhere. A girl I know is selling a deisel VW Jetta that's a year newer than mine... and I'm sorely tempted to buy it and sell mine, but... I love my car. And we're the only owners... and it'll be paid of in February. But maybe I should look into trading. It would help a LOT for when we visit Tom's folks, and my folks.

Hmm.

Eat, feed, clean, repeat

This is LG's 5th day at home. I (knock on wood) have NOT had any baby blues yet... I think I had one little cry to Tomek on Saturday because I felt momentarily overwhelmed with it all, but since then I've just forged ahead and the hours are racing by. I feel like I spend most of my time thinking about food, feeding and eating. Seriously. LG has to be woken up every 3 hours to eat, so that breaks up our nights into an hour here a couple of hours there of sleep. Tomek has been WONDERFUL... I'm getting more sleep than he is. In the morning I try to work it so I get LG up an hour before LB gets up. That way I can get him fed, burped and changed and back to sleep in time to prep LB's morning bottle, then while she's drinking I'm pumping milk for LG's next feed (which takes 20-30 minutes), then we play for a bit, then she's ready for a real breakfast so I figure something out for her to eat. This morning it was cereal and some banana. Then it's MY turn to eat, and then I play with LB some more or do the never-ending laundry or dishes or start another batch of formula on the stove. LB usually goes down for a nap 3 hours after she wakes up. It's nice in the morning if LG sleeps the entire time LB is up and when she goes down for a nap, he wakes up. Then it's only the afternoons that are tricky. LB surprised me today and went down for a nap 2 hours after she got up. I guess 8:30 was a little too early for her. I didn't know she was going to fall asleep, she just wanted to go in her crib and wanted her mobile on. And she drifted off just as LG started grunting and waking up. Did I mention how easy-going he is? He hardly rarely almost never cries. So then another hour passes while I feed and burp and cuddle and do the bicycle with him (because he hasn't pooped since he got home).

Now they are both asleep although LB will be up in less than an hour and I'll have to get something together for her and I to eat. The bottles are already washed for LG's next feed, and I'll have to make sure I have a dvd or something ready to go to occupy LB while LG is in my lap.

On Monday I could not have made it through the afternoon if my friend, N, hadn't been visiting. LB demands "up" often and screams if she doesn't get to go up. She refused to leave my lap w/o screaming when I needed to prep LG's bottle and feed him, so N ended up feeding him and I held LB. She's not mean to him at all. She loves to give him kisses and high fives and wants to hold him a lot. But she doesn't like it when one of us is holding him for an extended period of time.

Thankfully, Tomek has the rest of the week off so we can try to get LB used to the fact that sometimes she will just have to wait because we are taking care of LG. Although, he went to check on one of his projects early this morning and he's still not home. Stuff always comes up. But at least I know he's nearby so if things get hairy this afternoon I can call him and he should be able to come home.

Evenings are a flurry of timing dinner around LG's feeds, although yesterday he woke up just as dinner was ready, so Tomek helped LB eat her dinner while I fed LG and then he and I sat down to eat once LG was asleep, with LB wanting to sit in her daddy's lap for the entire meal.

All in all, it's going pretty well. I don't feel too exhausted and I'm SO RELIEVED that I'm not falling apart emotionally. I was really worried about that. Today was LG's scheduled arrival date and I'm SO GLAD I've already been through the c-section and hospital time and am already back at home with my family.

Now I just have to figure out how to go for walks with the 2 of them. I think LG is too small for the Snugli still, although he was 5 lbs at birth and now he's 6 lbs 9 oz!!! I have a stroller that his car seat attaches to, but then LB would have to walk, and I don't feel comfortable walking around w/o her holding my hand, unless we're at the park. Once LG fits in the Snugli I can push LB in the stroller to the park and then she can get out and run around. Until then, I may have to wait to go for a walk till someone is here with me, then we can go out with LG in his stroller and LB walking or in her stroller.

Anyone have any good ideas of quick, easy and healthy lunches for toddlers and moms?

Off to my parents' place

LB and I are off to the interior in a few minutes. I'm hoping she's as great on this drive as she was the last time we drove out there. The roads are pretty clear although there's some compact snow and slushy sections, so I know it's going to take me a little longer than last time since then I was averaging about 130 km/hr... but if worse comes to worse we'll pull off and have a big lunch, then continue on our way. I'll be back Thursday. My whole family (minus Tomek, boo) together for the first time since this summer. I'll get to see if my youngest brother has un-emoed himself.

Have a great final week before Christmas! And get all your shopping done/started!

Well THAT was fun

Last night was ugh. Poor Tomek didn't get home from work until 10 p.m., and LB didn't want to go to bed until after 10:30. She needs her Daddy time, no matter how late he gets home, it seems. That's not to say I don't try to put her to bed at a good hour. Anyway, so she went to bed, we showered and somehow it was after midnight yet again when we finally went to bed.

Tomek snores. And he has this way of falling asleep after three breaths. Me? I have to lie there and toss and turn and get in a position that's just so with the blankets pulled up around me just right, and no folds in the sheet, the pillow at just the right angle, my hair lifted up and over the top of the pillow so it doesn't itch my back or my neck. Then I can start slowly drifting off to sleep. But not if he's snoring. I listen to the crescendo of his breathing, tensed, waiting for the final whhhhhhooooonk which is the signal for me to gently shake him or prod him in an attempt to stop the snoring without fulling waking him up. Then readjust the sheets, my hair, the position of my limbs and my belly, and the cycle starts anew. And continues until I get tired enough to drift off between prodding him and when his next whhhhhooooonk arrives.

Last night the time between whonks was too short. Way too short. He was exhausted, sleep came more quickly than I could ever hope it would come for me. I watched the time slip past 1 a.m.... and then I must have finally drifted off to sleep.

At 1:45 something partially woke me up. I slipped in and out of sleep, vaguely hearing something like a phone ringing, mingled with Tomek's snores. A phone? Not my ring tone, or his... or our buzzer... just a persistant ringgggg... ringggg... ringgggg...

Wait a minute.

It's not a phone. It's one big RRRIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG of the building's fire alarm.

Shit.

At that instant of realization I received probably the second biggest shot of adrenaline in the history of me (the largest being in the moments after LB was born). I shook Tomek, "It's the fire alarm!" and we both shot out of bed, staggered around for clothes, warm clothes, I was acutely aware that I wasn't wearing a bra and didn't want to waste the time putting one on. Where was the fire? False alarm? We are on the 3rd (top) floor. Is it under us? We're taking too long. Down the hall, grabbed LB, stuffed her into her snowsuit, laid her down on the floor and pulled her boots on, then back to the bedroom because I was only half-dressed. Pulled pants on and my wedding rings, poked my head out the door to see neighbours exiting their apartments. No smoke. Left LB in the front hall with Tomek, ran back, got my purse, Tomek's wallet, a sweatshirt and LB's hat and out the door. Left a light on. Locked the door. Down three flights of stairs, out into the cold early morning as a 2nd fire truck pulls up.

No fire. Just a bunch of neighbours milling around on the sidewalk as fire fighters walk in and out of the building. No rush, no hoses. False alarm and no one's sure what caused it. One fire fighter tells us we can go back inside, another talks to a member of the strata and tells her he can't reset the alarm, so even though it's now off, it might turn on again.

I linger, listening... but no one knows what really happened. Back upstairs, LB is wide awake. We bring her to bed with us, Tomek passes out immediately. I lie awake with LB, waiting to feel sleepy. Waiting for her to feel sleepy. It's hard to see her eyes in the darkness, but every time I turn towards her, she starts telling me something. I wait, and wait. It's closing in on 2:30 a.m.... I think she's asleep. I lift her to take her to her crib, and she wakes up. I put her in her crib anyway, leaving the door open.

Back to bed, I finally fall asleep.

3:00 a.m. LB's indignant cries come loud over the baby monitor. Tomek gets out of bed faster than me and is back in moments with LB. "She was standing in her crib," he says. I guess she never fell asleep after I put her there. She was standing, waiting for us to come and get her.

LB falls asleep quickly this time, nestled between us. It's after 3:00 a.m. and I drift off, too. Short hours later Tomek is kissing me good-bye as he goes to work. I neglected to set an alarm so it's after 10 a.m. when LB finally wakes up. If she wakes up late like this I have to shorten her nap and make sure she gets LOTS of exercise so she goes to sleep at a somewhat-sane hour the following night. Of course it's snowing, but we walked to the bread store to pick up a loaf of sourdough and some ham. Now she's napping, but I'm going to keep her nap to 1 hour.

Thoughts:
-Anyone who says you don't need a baby monitor if you live in a small apartment is WRONG. There will come a time where exhaustion will win over that innate motherly attentiveness and you just won't hear the little one unless their voice is amplified via the monitor.

-I'm worried about how faintly the sound of the fire alarm came through our apartment door and walls. LB's room is by the front door, closest to the alarm, and it didn't wake her. Our room is at the back of the apartment. I doubt it would have woken Tomek at all. And out on the sidewalk, I only saw maybe 20 people from our building, and there are 45 occupied units.

No other choice

With the now nearly constant rain, and LB's obvious need for exercise and my lack of transportation, there is no choice but to walk in the rain. I have nothing against walking in the rain, if it's an occasional thing. But once or twice a day, day in and day out is going to get old. Fast. Tomek is really good about coming out with us to the mall or to Ikea after a long day of work so that LB can stretch her legs (and so that I don't have to disobey doctor's orders and lift her any more than is absolutely necessary)... but having her cooped up all day and then running around in the evening just gets her fired up for a late bedtime.

So here goes nothing: warm mac 'n' cheese and then a nice wet walk.

What we made of our Saturday

It was a lazy morning, a late-to-rise and frosty morning. A Saturday morning that uncharacteristically saw Tomek off to work.

Boo.

We had a chilly out-of-doors-after-naptime walk through the park. One that saw Mama in goosebumps despite the layers of fuzzy pretend-warmth.

Now, it's a sun-setting afternoon of hot tea. Of blogging and drawing simultaneously.

Of you and me.

And a new tooth!

Stupid crap that makes up my day

I feel totally on edge today. Maybe it's because LB woke up an hour earlier than she has been. All the little things are pissing me off. I was cleaning up dirty dishes left over from yesterday and I tipped over one of her cups, which was still 3/4 full of water... and soaked the nearby garlic. Then, just a few minutes ago I was getting her ready to go out for our morning walk, and she put up an absolute fight about getting a sweater on. She doesn't like her winter jacket either. So I was thinking, ok, I'll put her in a long-sleeved shirt, a warm sweater and then her fall jacket which she likes a lot more. I found a knit hooded sweater that my mom had given me (it had been mine when I was a baby) and it fit LB perfectly. The hood was a little snug around her face, but I wanted that because she refuses to wear hats, so hoods it has to be. She hated it. She's not a fussy baby. She surprises me on a daily basis with just how tough she is. But I guess she's already warm enough inside and then getting all these bulky clothes and getting stuffed like a sausage into her stroller pisses her off. I can totally understand. But I can't deal with it. So we just don't go out. I took off the sweater and put her down for a nap instead. She's not arguing (crying) about it, so maybe she was just tired. I think I've done a really good job about over-heating her when it comes to dressing her, but it's a smidge above freezing out and that calls for more clothes. Period.

I was checking out Neko's blog today and I saw her link to an Esty artist, The Black Apple. And... I love this. Sigh. Right now my most important creative endeavor is getting rid of some of the clutter in our 750 sq ft apartment. With the coming Christmas tree and boxes of decorations, especially. Plus, there's just too much crap. Everywhere.

I guess I just gave myself the solution to my angst-ridden day. Take out all the negative pissy feelings on the crap in our apartment so I'm a ray of sunshine when LB wakes up from her nap.

The latest item on my ever-growing to do list

Somehow, I'm going to turn this into a creative endeavor. Hope I don't perish under crap in the process...