gatorade 'n' pizza pockets

So. A year ago right now I was in the throes of contractions, and 16 hours away from giving birth.

I seem to have stopped blogging and stopped taking photos. When did that all happen? I think it was when I got some news that might be news but might not be news and I've been trying to wrestle with whether it's good news or bad news. I don't want to talk to anyone about it yet. I'm trying to come to grips with all the what-ifs.

We are leaving for Toronto-then-Poland in 2 1/2 weeks. I'm dreading it. I had no idea how complicated it would be to travel with a child. Everyone says "Oh, you can take them everywhere." Bullshit. I mean, you can take them everywhere, but the amount of stuff that has to be planned out in advance and the amount of stuff that has to be taken along is mind-boggling. We didn't have enough money to buy 3 plane tickets so LB doesn't have her own seat on the 2 5-hour flights to and from Toronto and the 2 9-hour flights to and from Poland. She's 25 lbs now, and very active as every nearly 1-year-old (tomorrow!) should be. We are flying on 2 different airlines but of course neither will provide a meal for her (she's under 2 and doesn't have a seat anyway) even though she eats mostly everything we eat. Actually she out and out refuses to eat baby food now. And each airline has different baggage restrictions. One will let her have luggage, the other won't. But I've (after a ton of phoning around) figured out how much baggage plus stroller plus car seat we can bring. Yes, we are toting her car seat for use in the rental cars in Toronto and Poland, not for use on the planes. Even if we had gotten her a seat, we couldn't use our car seat on the flight to Poland because it's a German airline and they only allow German car seats. Of course. Then there's the whole food and formula deal. I make her formula myself, but of course I won't be doing that on the trip since we'll be moving around so much and each batch has to simmer for 6 hours. She doesn't seem to want to drink other formulas and I can't blame her, so then I considered milk, but then I remembered all the reasons I don't drink milk and scratched that idea pretty quick. So back to a commercial formula. She drinks less of this because the kind that she will drink she doesn't want to drink much of. But maybe that's good. Maybe this trip will slowly wean her off formula and get her more into eating solid foods. Her appetite is almost non-existent these days. It kind of scares me, even though she's as bouncy as ever.

And Tomek doesn't have the same passport as we do--we have Cdn he has Polish. I tried to apply for his through the mail but sent one wrong bit of ID because I couldn't send the other because he needed it to go down to Oregon with me. And now his work schedule is so crazy at his regular job, PLUS he's working a side job till 8 each night, so I don't even want to add anything more onto his plate, and certainly not standing in line for 4 hours to hand in a passport application. It's not really a big deal that we have different passports, it's just that when we went to Spain 2 years ago it was the same thing, and when we landed in the UK we were in different line-ups and they gave me a major hassle because I had no proof of where I was staying (with Tom's family, but they were in the other line) and no proof of money, etc. This time I'll have travelers cheques with us, but how am I supposed to split the cheque between the two of us? I guess since he's got an EU passport they'll be more lenient with him, so he'll need less proof. But still, standing in a customs line-up with LB and without Tomek is not something I'm looking forward to.

And we still haven't totally hashed out where we are going while we are there. I know we want it to be as low-key as possible, and I think that is going to be my main duty--making sure Tom's family and the trip doesn't stress him out and making sure that LB is having a good time and is not smothered and carted off by over-exhuberent relatives. Add to that I have this paranoid feeling that I may have been entered against my will into a who's the best daughter-in law competition and the dread I feel about this trip is pretty much complete. Mind you, I do have a kick-ass trump card: LB. She's the first great-granddaughter on Tom's mom's side, and Tom's dad is really excited to show LB off to all of his family and we may have that news that still might not be news.

And on that note LB is awake and crying whenever I turn away from her. Did I mention she's teething?