Well THAT was fun

Last night was ugh. Poor Tomek didn't get home from work until 10 p.m., and LB didn't want to go to bed until after 10:30. She needs her Daddy time, no matter how late he gets home, it seems. That's not to say I don't try to put her to bed at a good hour. Anyway, so she went to bed, we showered and somehow it was after midnight yet again when we finally went to bed.

Tomek snores. And he has this way of falling asleep after three breaths. Me? I have to lie there and toss and turn and get in a position that's just so with the blankets pulled up around me just right, and no folds in the sheet, the pillow at just the right angle, my hair lifted up and over the top of the pillow so it doesn't itch my back or my neck. Then I can start slowly drifting off to sleep. But not if he's snoring. I listen to the crescendo of his breathing, tensed, waiting for the final whhhhhhooooonk which is the signal for me to gently shake him or prod him in an attempt to stop the snoring without fulling waking him up. Then readjust the sheets, my hair, the position of my limbs and my belly, and the cycle starts anew. And continues until I get tired enough to drift off between prodding him and when his next whhhhhooooonk arrives.

Last night the time between whonks was too short. Way too short. He was exhausted, sleep came more quickly than I could ever hope it would come for me. I watched the time slip past 1 a.m.... and then I must have finally drifted off to sleep.

At 1:45 something partially woke me up. I slipped in and out of sleep, vaguely hearing something like a phone ringing, mingled with Tomek's snores. A phone? Not my ring tone, or his... or our buzzer... just a persistant ringgggg... ringggg... ringgggg...

Wait a minute.

It's not a phone. It's one big RRRIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG of the building's fire alarm.

Shit.

At that instant of realization I received probably the second biggest shot of adrenaline in the history of me (the largest being in the moments after LB was born). I shook Tomek, "It's the fire alarm!" and we both shot out of bed, staggered around for clothes, warm clothes, I was acutely aware that I wasn't wearing a bra and didn't want to waste the time putting one on. Where was the fire? False alarm? We are on the 3rd (top) floor. Is it under us? We're taking too long. Down the hall, grabbed LB, stuffed her into her snowsuit, laid her down on the floor and pulled her boots on, then back to the bedroom because I was only half-dressed. Pulled pants on and my wedding rings, poked my head out the door to see neighbours exiting their apartments. No smoke. Left LB in the front hall with Tomek, ran back, got my purse, Tomek's wallet, a sweatshirt and LB's hat and out the door. Left a light on. Locked the door. Down three flights of stairs, out into the cold early morning as a 2nd fire truck pulls up.

No fire. Just a bunch of neighbours milling around on the sidewalk as fire fighters walk in and out of the building. No rush, no hoses. False alarm and no one's sure what caused it. One fire fighter tells us we can go back inside, another talks to a member of the strata and tells her he can't reset the alarm, so even though it's now off, it might turn on again.

I linger, listening... but no one knows what really happened. Back upstairs, LB is wide awake. We bring her to bed with us, Tomek passes out immediately. I lie awake with LB, waiting to feel sleepy. Waiting for her to feel sleepy. It's hard to see her eyes in the darkness, but every time I turn towards her, she starts telling me something. I wait, and wait. It's closing in on 2:30 a.m.... I think she's asleep. I lift her to take her to her crib, and she wakes up. I put her in her crib anyway, leaving the door open.

Back to bed, I finally fall asleep.

3:00 a.m. LB's indignant cries come loud over the baby monitor. Tomek gets out of bed faster than me and is back in moments with LB. "She was standing in her crib," he says. I guess she never fell asleep after I put her there. She was standing, waiting for us to come and get her.

LB falls asleep quickly this time, nestled between us. It's after 3:00 a.m. and I drift off, too. Short hours later Tomek is kissing me good-bye as he goes to work. I neglected to set an alarm so it's after 10 a.m. when LB finally wakes up. If she wakes up late like this I have to shorten her nap and make sure she gets LOTS of exercise so she goes to sleep at a somewhat-sane hour the following night. Of course it's snowing, but we walked to the bread store to pick up a loaf of sourdough and some ham. Now she's napping, but I'm going to keep her nap to 1 hour.

Thoughts:
-Anyone who says you don't need a baby monitor if you live in a small apartment is WRONG. There will come a time where exhaustion will win over that innate motherly attentiveness and you just won't hear the little one unless their voice is amplified via the monitor.

-I'm worried about how faintly the sound of the fire alarm came through our apartment door and walls. LB's room is by the front door, closest to the alarm, and it didn't wake her. Our room is at the back of the apartment. I doubt it would have woken Tomek at all. And out on the sidewalk, I only saw maybe 20 people from our building, and there are 45 occupied units.