My youngest brother, S, finished high school in Oregon on February 4th and moved "home" with my parents in the interior of BC. That day marked the first day in almost 12 years that my entire family finally all lived back in Canada. 22 days went by and my middle brother, D, left for some photo/videography training in L.A. This Sunday, he'll be flying to Africa where he'll spend 5 weeks documenting youth human rights seminars in four countries. Then we thought he'd be coming back to Canada, and he will be, but only to tie up loose ends. Then he's moving to L.A. to continue working for the production company where he received the videography training.
I always knew D was the kind of person who didn't care where he lived as long as he was pursuing what he wanted to do. S and I are different--we are more attached to home, to being close to our parents.
I'm happy for D, that he's found somewhere where he can pursue and be successful in what he does, but I can't pretend that I'm not disappointed and sad that he (seemingly so quickly) decided to move so far from us. We'll see him maybe once or twice a year now. And I guess part of what really bums me out is that LB and LG will never get a chance to really know him now. LB really likes him, because he tosses her in the air whenever he sees her. Over Christmas he would chase her around a lot and instead of saying "boo!" when he snuck up on her, he'd say "ba!". So now to her, he's Uncle Ba!. Whenever she sees a photo of him, she points and says "Ba!"
I'd always hoped that my brothers would have a really good relationship with my kids. They are 8 & 9 years younger than me and... I don't know. They've always played really well with LB and I wanted my kids to be close to their uncles I guess.
And I guess what really hurts is how easy it seems it was for D to make the decision to move to L.A. I've tried to stay in touch with my brothers, keep tabs on what's going on in their lives... and I guess I feel like D doesn't have much interest in my life. I feel like I've tried to stay close, and he isn't interested. But maybe he's just not good at expressing himself. Who knows.
Sigh.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
22 days
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Of course I don't know D but I really think you shouldn't take it personally. He has his own life to think about and that is all, at the moment, he can focus on. When he is older he may reconnect in a meaningful way.
hey i live over 400 mies from my family and i see my nieces and nephews maybe two or three times a year and they love me. like phil says, your bro has a dream to chase too. im sure your kids will still love him everybit as much as they would if he were closer.
Like Phil, I don't know your family dynamics or history... and I agree you should try not to take it personally. But it's easy for me to say that, because I'm the type of person who can take off and live somewhere else, far away from the people I love, and it's an easy transition for me.
It is sad that he won't get to know your kids the way you want him to... he probably knows that, too.
I understand how you feel. My brother lives over 600 miles away and he rarely gets to see little bit. However, I know that he has to do what's best for him right now. Maybe one day, when he has kids of his own, he'll move back closer to the family. Until then, there's telephones, blogs and email to help us keep in touch.
Post a Comment