Quit

I lasted 1 day at that job. I worked 1 day last week. This week I was scheduled to work last night, but instead, I quit.

I'd like to think it was for purely practical reasons. But I think the real reason was that I just didn't feel emotionally strong enough to leave here 3 evenings a week. I'd leave at 10 p.m. so it wasn't like I'd be missing out on an entire day of LBness. I don't really understand me, myself. Tomek brought up the valid points that I could use that time to start something of my own, something that would eventually enable me to work from home. I had meant to do a lot of that during my entire maternity leave, but not a lot happened. He also said that he could make the same amount of money as I would be in a lot less time. He could make more than 3x/hr as much as I would have. And then there's the excuse that I need all my energy for planning our trip (WE LEAVE IN EXACTLY A MONTH OMG!!!). I know Tom's parents travel plans, and I already know we are not going to some cities they are going to, so sometimes we'll be with them and sometimes we won't. We are going to go to fewer places and spend less time in each place.

But what really hit home with me, and has stuck, was when I asked Tom if he'd feel resentment or any negative emotion toward me if I stopped working there, he said no, it would just mean he'd have to find more work. And he looked so tired. It about broke my heart. I feel guilty for leaving that job. But now I'm determined to actually carry out the plans I made for saving us money--saving us WAY more money than I'd have made working that job.

And this morning Tom called for me to read him a list of things that he needed to do because he'd left the list at home. I know it was just a small portion of things he tackles every day, but holy CRAP he does so much. Deals with so many different people, places and problems every day. I'm in awe of him. And so proud. *mwua*