Reconnect

I know very little about my mom's side of the family, and those who are left to tell any stories are passing on. When I first moved back to Canada I meant to interview my mom's cousin because she apparently had known my grandfather (her mom's sister's husband) very well. But she passed away unexpectedly before I could do so.

My grandfather died when my mom was 6... and I've only seen a few pictures of him, but have always felt a connection. Maybe because he played basketball. But I've always believed that he and I would have been great friends if he'd survived or not been in that plane at all.

My grandmother passed away when I was 3. Her brother (my great uncle H) is still alive, as far as I know. I haven't spoken to him in 6 years because he decided he didn't like my mom anymore. Neither of them would get into details, but I think it all stems from the cause of my grandmother's death. It could have been avoided with help from family, or perhaps it couldn't have been. I think that is the crux of the family rift.

I found out recently that my grandparents are actually BOTH buried 20 minutes (driving) from where I live. And about 45 minutes away is a tree planted in my grandmother's memory. I have a map of where it is located. I keep meaning to go to both of those places, but haven't yet. I can't believe I have lived here for 6 1/2 years and only in the past year did I learn both of those facts. Things about my mom's family trickle down slowly, and I don't think I'll ever know the real reasons why.

So I've been thinking a lot about family lately, especially after meeting my Oma's (my dad's mom) brother in Germany this past summer. It was a last-minute, completely unexpected turn of events that I will treasure for the rest of my life. He only spoke German and Polish... so Tom and him did all the talking. I met his granddaughter as well--I can't think of the family connection to me at the moment... 3rd or 4th cousin or something like that. But family nonetheless.

Today I called my Oma to see how she is doing. She has a debilitating disease, her bones are very brittle, and there is nothing the doctors can do for her. My Opa has alzheimers and he's slowly debilitating mentally while my Oma is struggling physically.

She told me that he doesn't remember me anymore. She has a picture of me on their mantel, and he asked her "Who is this lady?" She told him that it's me, his granddaughter. His reply was "That's not her. * is a little girl!!"

:(

It may be too litttle, too late, but I'm going to keep in better touch with my family now. I'm going to write to my great uncle H and see what comes of it. Mostly, I'm hoping he'll tell me what my Grandpa was like. I found a letter from him from 2002 and he said he "was a real prince and very handsome. He was also a very good basketball player and just a man's man". Can you miss someone you've never met? And if my Uncle H is still in a snit towards my mom, then that's that. I might try to contact his ex-wife... but I feel like my mom might feel... I don't know. Weird that I'm getting in touch with family that she hasn't really kept in touch with.

So my goal for this week WAS going to be to write to my Oma & her brother (my great uncle A) in Germany AND my great uncle H, but I'm off to my parents' place for 5 days tomorrow morning and I haven't gotten the photos printed that I want to send yet. So it'll be my goal for next week. Plus Tom will have to translate my letter to great uncle A into Polish.

I feel like I need to grab what memories I can before they slip through my fingers, forever.