Dreams that leave me aching

The past three nights in a row I've had the same kind of dream. The people and locations are always different but how I feel in the dream and when I wake up is always the same. In my dream, I develop a crush on someone, the feelings are somewhat returned, as much as anyone can ever tell, a bit of a romance blossoms but there's always some reason why they can't out and out be in a relationship with me. Tuesday night the guy was going to be going away and another girl was going to be there and she would be offering him blow jobs and there was nothing he could do to prevent himself from receiving said 'jobs. Wednesday night the guy had agreed to meet up with another girl in a few days time and see if they would hit it off. So I was basically second in line both times.

Each dream had and left me feeling that empty kind of ache when you really want affection to be returned, and it isn't. But this morning was different. This morning Tom was still home when I got up with LB (she went to sleep at 9:30 last night and got up at 8!!). I didn't see him at all really last night because he was cleaning out his car till 2:30 a.m. Tonight and tomorrow night he'll be working a side job. So this morning I held onto the few moments I saw him too hard. When he left I nearly cried. He's the man I love, the man I chose, the man I choose every day. And I want him here with me.