They came and visited for an hour and a half. They went to pick up her visa, hoping it would be ready this afternoon instead of monday. They didn't call to tell me they got it. I called and my dad told me they got it, and that they were leaving tomorrow. I was happy to hear that, ready to have them over, make a dinner for them, but before I could suggest it my dad said that he is taking my mom out to dinner. There was no mention of them coming back to visit me even though it's only 4:30. Why do I feel stung? I mean, they came and visited for an hour and a half and my dad spent most of the time on the computer trying to see if we would need a passport to go to the states or if just our marriage certificate, LB's birth certificate, our drivers licences and our birth certificates would be enough. I don't even know what he found out.

Now it's getting dark, and I just feel that awful despair-filled loneliness creeping in around me again. And I don't know how to make it go away. Everything just seems so pointless.

I can't be dependent upon others for my happiness. But I am.