Time: 12:30 p.m.
Date: Friday (TG!)
Location: the water cooler
Female co-worker: Hey, what's shakin'?
Phx: My boobs.
I went bra shopping last weekend. The situation was dire, and perhaps beyond repair. Yes folks, Phx got some stretch marks on her formerly-almost-A-cup-32"-bust. And her boobs in no way resemble those sweet nubbins of the past. No, they've grown to gazoonga-esque proportions. Bobbing, weaving and bouncing, even when I'm sitting down. Yes, I've noticed I have cleavage, but so has everyone else in this office!! Noticed, that is. I'm keeping these melons well-covered, even through all the bloody hot flashes.
So, formerly(happy-to-be)-flat-phx walked away from a one-hour bra ordeal clutching one thirty-dollar-completely-B-cup-36"-bust-over-shoulder-boulder-holder -complete-with-underwire. I'm getting grooves in my shoulders already!
My little knobs have always (up until formerly mentioned melon-growing) held their own weight. Literally. I would by the smallest cotton bra out there, and the same size lasted me through high school, college and beyond. No wire bras needed, thank you very much.
But those days are evidently completely gone. My doctor informed me I've gained 1 kg (2lbs) so far in this pregnancy, and I know where all that weight is hanging!!
Of course, this situation isn't all horrible. I do look pretty hot in babydoll shirts, especially with my baby bump. My curves are all still here, my butt isn't flat... and once I start to appreciate these mondo-melons, I suppose I might start showing a lil cleavage. Hell, one day I might actually look sexy. Imagine that.
And although I may not have learned to love my newly grown chest, someone else sure has... Tomek even noticed the change before I did, way back in November. And I'm going to stop right there, before thoughts drift south of the waistband.
Side note:
To you, mr. fatherly accountant: Never diss a pregnant woman's lunch. Especially when she tells you she made it herself!! And super-especially when it doesn't contain jelly beans or licorice or chocolate.
Friday, February 24, 2006
What's shaking?
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7 comments:
a post on boobs...now thats a way to close a school week. ::chuckles:: angels wing their way north next week.
may i be the first to congratulate you on your new orbs of notable size. welcome to the shoulder-strap-indenting-your-flesh-and-paying-way-too-friggin-much-for-said-holder-contraption club! you'll get tired to people gawking at your breastestes after a while, but for now, point those suckers upwards and outwards! embrace your new less aerodynamic physique!!
just think, they just might stay after the pregnancy! gasp! (happened to my formerly a-cup friend, she's now bigger than moi)
dammit, ghost, I tried to type faster, I did...
I was checking my email as your comments rolled in. *laughs* The inbox kept saying 1, no, one more, oops there's another one!
ghost: I'll keep the candles lit for their arrival.
moi: thank you! and breastestes- that is one brilliant word! I've heard they do stay around after pregnancy. I just hope they don't totally go droopy.
bahahahaha. . . "Totally droopy". Honey, you have NOTHING to worry about being a B cup. I am currently an F. Yes. . An F! If you want to see droopage, stop by my house some day. It's insane. A B cup would be nice right about now.
Actually, I think that the perfect boob size for me would be a C cup, which I have not been since junior high. Damn genetics anyways
Given that I read this Monday morning, I'm going to modify ghost's comment:
A post on boobs...now that's a way to kick off the work week.
ghost and shenry: glad to be of service in ending/starting your work week just right.
moi, phoe: I guess I'm joining your ranks! Phoe, have you found yourself pretty much doubling in size since the pregnancy? I think i'm going to more than double.
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