The way I told my parents about my pregnancy was probably not the best way. I told them right after Tom asked them for my hand in marriage, and I watched as they deflated, my dad's smile slid off his face, my mom's smile became strained... it was subtle, but awful to watch. Maybe I'm reading them incorrectly, but I think I've always been pretty good at picking up on when something isn't quite right between them. Right away I knew they were thinking the only reason that Tom was asking me to marry him was because I was pregnant. And that wasn't true. And I told them that the same day.
And I know my mom is focused on the wedding so we haven't really talked about the baby but I'm really worried, moreso now that I have a little baby bump, that they are always going to feel that this pregnancy is something a bit shameful.
I didn't feel shameful. Mind you, Tom has swept me along in his excitement and kept me from thinking any worrisome thoughts... but they are starting to seep through.
I don't want to be the cause of my parents feeling shamed. But as the wedding is looming I'm getting more and more worried, because I know my mom didn't tell my godparents that I'm pregnant, and there are probably a couple of other people she didn't tell, but the vast majority of people coming to the wedding know that I'm pregnant. And the likelihood of a congratulary comment of that kind slipping out in front of those who have been kept in the dark is very high. My mom told me it would be best to keep this wedding just a celebration of the wedding, not the wedding and the pregnancy, and I kind of understand where she is coming from. But I don't know that it's the best place to be coming from.
But I know it's just her opinion, so if I tell her I think we should tell the remaining guests, well. I don't know if she'd tell them or I'd tell them. I don't want to tell them behind her back. I just don't know.
And I know my mom is focused on the wedding so we haven't really talked about the baby but I'm really worried, moreso now that I have a little baby bump, that they are always going to feel that this pregnancy is something a bit shameful.
I didn't feel shameful. Mind you, Tom has swept me along in his excitement and kept me from thinking any worrisome thoughts... but they are starting to seep through.
I don't want to be the cause of my parents feeling shamed. But as the wedding is looming I'm getting more and more worried, because I know my mom didn't tell my godparents that I'm pregnant, and there are probably a couple of other people she didn't tell, but the vast majority of people coming to the wedding know that I'm pregnant. And the likelihood of a congratulary comment of that kind slipping out in front of those who have been kept in the dark is very high. My mom told me it would be best to keep this wedding just a celebration of the wedding, not the wedding and the pregnancy, and I kind of understand where she is coming from. But I don't know that it's the best place to be coming from.
But I know it's just her opinion, so if I tell her I think we should tell the remaining guests, well. I don't know if she'd tell them or I'd tell them. I don't want to tell them behind her back. I just don't know.
3 comments:
Do people of your faith frown upon pre-marital sex?
I don't know. For me, I think it's a little harsh for people to hold that against you - Even if it does have something to do with your religion. It would be nice that they could simply be happy because there's a baby on the way, and you're getting married and starting a family. What does it matter what order you accomplished it all in?
I'd tell people to go and get stuffed - You're happy, Tom's happy - They have no reason to be unhappy. It's not their life.
I agree with raven. You should be able to seperate the two and not feel bad. You're not decieving anyone, your just focusing the days excitment, on one thing. And, I don't know your parents, but I feel pretty confident in saying, that once your boy/girl takes their little hand and wraps it around their finger, they are gonna forget everything else. Don't worry about any of this stuff. It won't help, it's not good for you or the baby, and you've got bigger things like your wedding to deal with.
phx. im your freind so please dont take this the worng way. phuq shame. that's your baby. wear your bump with pride. and if the rest of your world cant get with that, phuq them.
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