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Saturday, January 07, 2006

Hm.

I blew into the wedding paper store today to pick up some envelopes, having been unsuccessful in finding the size I needed at Staples or Office Depot or anywhere else. I got to pay 32c per envelope. Lucky me.

Anyway, there was another woman in there (my age, I think, feels weird to call her a woman). She was nicely dressed, with nice hands and a nice ring on her finger, putting in an order to get her invitations cut--her colours were purple green and white, all pastely. She started talking to the woman behind the counter about how she and her fiance had budgeted it all out and how they keep going over budget. Then she mentioned the figure of $30,000.

What?!

She and her man are going to spend more on one day than I make in a year (after taxes). Nice.

I looked down at my grubby sneakers, grubby jeans, yellow sweatshirt and old red rain coat of my dad. I knew I hadn't showered this morning, barely brushed my hair before throwing it back in a ponytail... and my ring is pending.

I guess I don't look like a stereotypical fiancee. Hm. Part of me cares, and part of me doesn't. Tom and I haven't bought the flowers yet, nor do we have a per head quote on how much the catering is going to cost... but we've spent under $1,800 on:

-my dress
-my veil
-bridesmaid's dress
-chapel rental
-reception hall rental
-invitations
-marriage license

And I think that's pretty damn good. So we aren't going to have this perfect colour and everything synchronized wedding. Ours is going to be colourful and relaxed and fun.

So there.

I guess I'm feeling a little defensive...

6 comments:

Madamme said...

The fact of the matter is, you have to be happy with your wedding, regardless of your budget. Sure, budgets set certain limits, but you have a bit of help. Our wedding, including everything cost about $6000, and I wouldn't have traded it for a $30,000 wedding any day. Small, simple, and easy is the way I like it. And it was still a classy affair. You don't need lots of money to have a fabulous wedding. It just depends on what you're willing to sacrefice - And the decisions that you make that will make your day special and memorable.

Anonymous said...

I think your wedding reflects the true you. I think those people who are caught up in how much you spend, are just wanting you to not look too deep into what they are actually doing. We didn't spend a lot on our wedding, and until my son was born, it was the most memorable, and favorite, day of my life. Don't let snooty, people make you feel inferior, you're better than that! How's the babay doing?

Phil Plasma said...

Engagement ring, wedding, honeymoon all came up to around 25K for my wife and I, but at the time we were able to save 1000$ a month for the previous fifteen months, and then continued doing that for the next ten months after. Our wedding ended up lasting a weekend, however, since it was far enough away from where we live that people spent the weekend, but close enough that it wasn't too hard to plan. (Married at Mont-Tremblant). We've had friends who have spent about what you are going to spend and their wedding was just as nice as ours was. What makes the wedding are the people in it, the couple and the guests... everything else is just less significant extra.

Krista said...

Raven: thanks. We've got a ways to go yet, but it IS a good start.. :)

Phoe: You saved a lot by having the reception at your mom's house, right? Did you have a caterer? Small, simple and easy is the way to go for me too. I remember going to a friend's wedding in Sept. and at the reception the groom told Tom that it felt to him like this wedding was more for everyone else and not for him. I felt bad for him. So... I'm trying my best to keep it small, simple and easy for US.

Matherly: I think you are totally right. This wedding is starting to evolve into something that is definitely me and Tom. Fairly casual w/ lots of colour. :) Baby is doing good, I presume. Taking care of itself... I feel like I won't really know how to gauge how s/he's doing till I show.

Phil: Good saving! We didn't have time to do that. A wedding lasting a weekend sounds wonderful. :) But tiring.

shenry said...

I second Matherly's comment. The wedding can tell you a lot about the couple. I love contrasting my bro's wedding to mine. He and his wife (a.k.a. my arch-nemesis) spent over $25k on their wedding... and it was a smaller wedding, like 50 people or something. But my bro's wife is very materialistic. She wanted an extravagant wedding and a reception at Denver's most expensive hotel. The figure still baffles me: $25k for 50 people. That's like $500/guest. The sad part is that next month, after 2-years of marriage, my brother plans on moving out of their house and starting the "separation" procedure.

Silver and I got married within a month of my brother. In fact, we were engaged a week before them. Our marriage cost $5, and we're still going strong.

Anonymous said...

amy and i did ours for under 2000$ that woman who is spending 30 gs is an absolute moron. for all of the stuff we did and went through to get that day its not the decorations or the ceremony that i remember, its the dazziling smile on her face after i put the ring on her finger...2 grand or 30 gs...doesnt matter... you cant buy that smile.