Christmas musings

Today Tom taught me how to say "f-ing c-nt" in Polish. I practiced a lot. I hate being out of my home during the week before Christmas. And lucky me had to work, driving around downtown, mostly successfully avoiding the shoppers. Actually, I didn't drive. Since there was obviously going to be no parking anywhere ever (as is always the case for me in the week before Christmas), Tom drove and parked wherever the hell there was space, and I hopped out and serviced the accounts. He has infinitely more patience than I do for looking for parking, so the odd time that he found parking, he got to come in the stores with me and browse while I counted stock etc. Fun times.

Tonight is his company Christmas party. I was going to go, but it's on a boat. You want me to eat on a boat? I don't think so. The guys are all going to be getting sloshed. Sloshed on a boat? Not a smart idea there, boss.

So I'm staying home--I really should pop across the street to the mall but I don't know if I can face it: the hoards of people that must consume, the line ups, the mess, the money pissed away on jacked-up prices, the yammering unsmiling competitors all vying for the gift. I don't even try for parking. I park as far away from the mall as possible while still being in the parking lot. I'd rather spend 2 minutes walking to the mall than 20 driving around in circles, cursing every car that gets to a spot before me, cursing the chick taking her sweet ass time getting out of her spot, cursing the pedestrians that act like they own the whole parking lot, cursing the guy who can't park and therefore I can't get by him.

But I really should go. Dammit.

Thanks to Tom, I've been learning more about the real meaning behind Christmas. I've always liked Jesus. I've never read any of the bible, but through artistic interpretations of him and his messages, I've come to believe that he was a pretty neat guy. I don't go for the "son of God" part of it all, though maybe it is true. But I liked a lot of his messages about love and peace, and how hard he tried to teach others how they could live a better life.

Tom told me the story of the three wise men yesterday or today, how they were following a star that represented or would lead them to a great new leader. But I wonder why they gave gifts to Jesus. I can see wanting to find who this great new person is, but what was their motivation behind it? Or was it their calling in life? Did they live to give gifts to great people so those people could start out well? Or were they sucking up? I don't know.

My favourite Christmas song has always been The Little Drummer boy:

Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum
A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum
Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum
To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

So to honor Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
When we come.

Little Baby, pa rum pum pum pum
I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum,
I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum
That's fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum,
On my drum?

Mary nodded, pa rum pum pum pum
The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my drum for Him, pa rum pum pum pum
I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum,
rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum
Me and my drum

I've never listened closely to the lyrics, I only remembered snatches of it, "I am a poor boy too", "I have no gifts to bring"... but now I think I know why they would want to give to him. They knew he was a good person, they knew he was going to help people, and that he could bring happiness and teach others to live good lives. I would want to give to a good person too. And I do. Every year. I love to give gifts to my family because they've done so much for me, and stood by me through all that I've put them through. They've worked hard, raised me to be someone I am proud to be, and they deserve any gift I could give them and more.

I can't wait to give them a grandchild.