LB is asleep and Tomek is away at a side job. I'm sitting in a complete mess, trying to think, trying to come up with some kind of plan for this new year.
Anyone have any brilliant ideas for easy space-saving ways to keep toys under control?
Despite the fact that I'm doing a damn fine job of taking care of LB (which I realize when I actually step back far enough to see that), I still feel like I'm somehow not contributing enough to our family. The place is never tidy, although I know better now what needs to be done to make it tidy. My thoughts just keep swinging to should I work or should I not work? We are living totally comfortably on the money we have now (Tomek's income and my EI)... but I wonder if getting a part-time job somewhere would be good for me. I went to school, but I haven't really used much of what I learned, though at the time it seemed like such a practical program. And I know, I bitch about the same things over and over again and I wish I didn't, I wish I had the time and energy and motivation to get back on my poetry, and other creative projects, but I don't. I'm so mentally knotted up about what to do with myself. My life can't end at taking care of LB. It's wonderful to stay home all the time, but I can't help feeling like Tomek is doing it all, and I just laze around. Even though feeding LB every 2-3 hours doesn't allow for much lazing around, or sleep. About a month ago she came completely off formula and now is just nursing. But she wants solids, as I've mentioned, so that will start up in about a week, once I get this book on homemade baby food, organic, etc. I don't know how other moms do it going months on end with such interrupted sleep and still have the energy to work and clean and everything else. It's not like I'm even really up with her in the night. The first time she wakes to be fed, I go get her from her room adn bring her to bed with me and feed her lying down. Then the next 2-3 times she wakes up she's already there beside me so I just feed her like that. She eats for a bit and then falls asleep again with me.
I guess I have started something a bit creative--I want to get photos and stuff hung on our walls. My parents just moved into their new house a month ago and they already have all their stuff hung. We have nothing. Oh wait, 2 things. But nothing that really gives a character to this place. And I want it to have character. I want it to feel like it's our place, not just where we are living.
But where to bang holes in the wall seems like such a big decision to make.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
a new year brings... what exactly
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
In hindsight, Silver should've gone back to work sooner than she did. Not for the money, but for the sanity. Having a job provides her with an identity outside of this household, which I think is important. Of course, everybody is different, and there are plenty of stay-at-home moms and dads that thrive in that setting.
I'm not saying you should rush into going back to work, but keep an eye on your sanity meter, and if it starts to redline then maybe it's time to return to the workforce.
yeah amy and i talkd about this yesterday. shes getting to the point where she needs to be out of the house for her sake. she likes to work and it gives her something besides me and the kids to focus on for a few hours. shes going back to work around the 20th
something part-time might be a perfect solution for you. you'll get out into the world, have a change in mindset, and still have time with Lily. would you have to use daycare if you did find work? is there anyone in your neighbourhood who could look after her while you're out of the house?
I say bang holes where you think they'd look best. :)
Post a Comment