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Thursday, January 18, 2007

I am whipped

... or maybe I just have this never-ending sense of "make it go right" when it comes to our marriage.

Last night was rough. We argued about it--in a nutshell, Tomek was out till 2 a.m. drinking with a buddy, leaving me at home to care for LB. But he was with his friend because said friend just got cheated on and dumped by his live-in girlfriend of 3 years. Sooo... that's deserving of a lot of beers and some guy bonding (not bondage, shenry, bonDING). But from my side, I am tired in the evening, and normally he is always here, so I get a break from constantly having my attention on LB in the evenings, and I have someone to talk to. Every night I dont have that is just so long... and lonely. So then I feel resentful and shitty. But I was under the impression that he'd be home around 9 and when I called at 930 he was still at the bar but thought they were winding down... I never heard from him again till I called him at 1:45 a.m. and he was almost home. Driving my car and completely hammered.

So we were both in the right and we were both in the wrong. Fortunately, we don't yell at each other. Sometimes I feel like he really doesn't understand me, but I cannot go days without talking to him, I can't even go one day without talking to him. Even if I decide in advance that I'm going to try my darndest to do just that, I never last...

Which is why this evening, upon returning home from a walk, while Tomek was brushing snow and rain off the stroller out in the hall, I was mooning him and flashing him from our apartment.

I can't resist an opportunity to make him laugh. And I can't stay mad at him, no matter how hard I try. Sometimes I think this could lead to me being totally taken advantage of, but then again, he does always listen to my side of it (not that he has a choice) and most of the time we are able to both concede a bit and apologize for whatever we did to contribute to the argument.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

the key i think is to not let that resentment sit and fester. you gotta say it, let him know whats bothering you. once its out, most of the time i find that it can be worked out.

Anonymous said...

You're not whipped (unless I'm sure you asked politely to be), it's just part of marriage. Ghost is right, it's amazing how quickly the resentment can build if you DON'T talk about it. Get it out in the open and deal with it.

Anonymous said...

I can't stand being mad at justin either. i'd rather have us be happy then be right i guess. !