How did you choose?
I guess it's hard for us because we each have a different idea of what a god parent is and does. Tomek's idea is the traditional Roman Catholic god parent who helps guide the child in the religion, attends the baptism, etc. He actually became a god father, to Konrad, a week before LB was born.
To me, a god parent is who my parents chose to take care of me if something happened to them, and they were the ones that were... well, they took a steady interest in my life through the years, sent gifts on Christmas and on my birthday, I could go visit with them and sleepover. I should say "she" instead of "them" because my god father disappeared years ago, so I've only ever really had a god mother-my mom's best friend and her matron of honour.
Sooooo.... since LB isn't going to be baptised or raised in a strict RC family, Tomek doesn't see the point in having god parents. He figures if something happens to us, our parents will take care of her. But then there's the thought of which parents. Obviously he'd like his parents to take care of her and I'd like mine to.
It seems like our parents are having more of an influence on our life now that we are married. Bizarre.
When I think of the people here I know, no one really strikes me as someone who I'd want to be god parent to LB... well, Wendy, one of my closest friends, but she already has 3 kids ranging in age from 27-7, so I don't know if she'd want to. Or what being a god mother would even really mean.
I know someone who I think would be a great god father to LB, someone to be a friend and mentor, teach her all the sports, a fun god father. He's a friend to me now, though we did date... 10 years ago. But he's stayed friends with my family, has been really good with my youngest brother... and I've seen how awesome he is with kids, and I know how much he loves them and wants his own. But maybe it would just be weird to have an ex-boyfriend be god father to my child, even though we are friends now. It would probably seem weirder to Tomek than to me.
I remember the one time he saw me pregnant-- I was at my old high school, where he now works. We went out to our old haunt, the gym, grabbed a basketball and started shooting around, just like old times. He introduced LB to the basketball and told her that it was going to be a very important part of her life. He and I were both on the varsity basketball teams, and it was during basketball season of our junior (3rd) year that we started dating.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on god parents... I dont know how we'll ever make a decision. We don't seem to agree on any aspects of parenting really... except that when she pukes all over herself we give her a bath. Hm. We'll get there. Despite all the difficulties we might be having now, I wouldn't want anyone else to be the father of my daughter.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Choosing god parents
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3 comments:
ive always thought of god parents the same way you do. i dont have any but a former freind of mine did. id advise that in the event that something happens to you and tomek, lily be raised by someone in the family. maybe your brothers or tomek's siblings would be a better choice than yours or his parents.
Aren't godparents more symbolic these days? (I could be totally wrong about all this but...) If you want the godparents to actually raise your child in the event of your untimely death, then you need to say so in a will or similar legal document, especially if you're choosing godparents who aren't related to you guys. (Once again, I'm just speculating.)
You're correct about the legal issues, Shenry. We made Katie's god-mother (a friend of mine I've known for over 10 years) her care taker should something ever happen to Danny and I. I pestered Danny to sit down and get our will together. He was against it at first, saying it was too morbid, etc...but I really felt like in case something happened, I wanted our families to have as little to deal with as possible.
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