Food & friends

I ate a bizarre smorgasbord of food today...

• 1/2 sandwich bag of mini pretzels
• 3 granola bars
• 2 cucumber rolls (11 pieces of cucumber wrapped in rice wrapped in seaweed)
• 1 bowl of miso soup
• poutine
• garden salad
• chicken sticks
• mcdonalds smartie mcflurry
• mcdonalds french fries (at the same time as the mcflurry)

and I've realized recently just how many friends I do have--but most are people who I think have been more friends to me than I have been to them. My life is so overwhelming that I find some of them just reach out and help me without me giving anything in return, other than being grateful for that help.

One friend in particular has been on my mind of late. A new friend, but one of those friendships that is just SO strong. I feel strengthened by it, i feel like i'm really able to be a positive addition to her life, as she is to mine. And I think the bond really runs deeper than the one created by the two of us supporting each other through our recent crises and worries and heartbreaks. I've never been one to fit into a social circle or have a group of common friends. I guess moving how I did, from east coast canada to west coast us to west coast canada did a pretty good job of keeping me out of any long-term circles. And i think I like it better this way. I'm more of a one on one person. I like to have friends I can really trust and confide in and connect to, not just get drunk with, which is what the group that I've met through Tomek seems to do. I used to quite enjoy it--getting drunk, being surrounded by people, letting my guard down, not being so shy and just being goofy having lots of laughs... but sometimes it wasn't all laughs. Looking back there were times when other guys (who Tomek knows about) were openly hitting on me. There was one particular time where I'd been unknowingly fed a pot cookie while drunk and THEN hit on. Defenses were not at their highest then.

...

And the train of thought is gone...

Tomek has the opportunity to do a very well paying side job way the hell and gone north of here... basically a few hours east of Alaska. He's stressing about it because its in such a remote location that its kind of a one shot deal. He's gotta bring all the supplies and have it all planned out beforehand, before even seeing the place. I don't want him to go (yes, this is a silly pregnant hormonal woman talking), so I'm hoping my mom will come and visit while he's gone. Trouble is, I think he's going to have to go during some of his regular work days, in which case I'll be working too, and it's pointless to have my mom here while I'm working.

Speaking of which, I haven't heard from her since Sunday when they picked up my brothers. Gotta give her a call.