Sigh. Up and down and up again. My blog is coming apart at the seams, isn't it? All erratic and moody.
I think I've found a way I can get to sleep at a decent hour and actually stay asleep. First, I do my stretches and exercises (lower and upper back, neck, legs). Then Tomek gives me a wonderful back and pelvic massage. (Pelvic massage is basically a butt massage.) And then, to fall asleep without feeling sore in the morning, I lie on my side, but lean slightly back so my weight is on Tomek's sleeping body, not all on the shoulder of the side I'm sleeping on. It worked well Tuesday morning and all last night. Fingers crossed that it continues to work well.
I just almost walked out of the bathroom with the hem of my skirt tucked into the back of my bright orange underwear.
Work is becoming a bit of a grind… both physically and mentally. Sitting for long periods of time is getting downright uncomfortable—and no, I don't have hemorrhoids. I also find that it's hard to think clearly. Scratch that, it's nearly impossible to think clearly. My head feels like soup most of the time. Today, I had to ask the receptionist how to photocopy a card so that both sides of the card were on the same side of one piece of paper. I couldn't figure it out for the life of me. And yesterday there was talk of the benefits and what I'm paying etc. and I couldn't wrap my head around the concept of a "taxable benefit". I mean, this is simple shit. And I just go all cow-eyed. I think this is even more frustrated than how leaky I've become. Ugh.
Technically I could take my mat leave at the end of next week, though not legally since I have to give at least 4 weeks of written notice. But the marketing manager wants my notice yesterday. Beeeznatch. It's a lot of shit to figure out… but I guess it was easy for her, she worked up till she gave birth and then she came back as soon as she could. Weird.
I know that I can't leave that early anyway, never mind pending responsibilities here at work, we need the $ so I can save up as much as possible and then I hope we'll be able to get through my mat leave period w/o being stretched too thin. That's the hope. I told Tomek last night that I'd be happiest if we didn't borrow any money from his parents for the down payment—they'd offered to loan us 10 grand. It's an enormously generous offer, but I just don't feel quite right about it. Especially knowing that they will be borrowing the money from their line of credit to lend to us. But then, Tomek and his family have a much different idea about credit than I do. I'd be interested to hear what you all think of credit—good, bad, dangerous, better off without it, use it only in emergencies, pay it off as fast as possible, etc.
If we saved up the down payment ourselves, then we are almost ¾ of the way there, but that would involve using all of my savings plus all the money we received as wedding gifts. But what better investment to spend the money on than a down payment, right? This is just all so new to me. I had envisioned using the money to spiff up our new place and get some new furniture. But I guess HAVING a place comes before spiffing it up. Obviously. Luckily we also have about 600 bucks in gift certificates to places where we can buy baby stuff. I'm fine buying it all used, but the gift certificates are money we don't have to spend, so I guess LB will end up with some new stuff after all. (who am I kidding… of course s/he'll have lots of new stuff).
That reminds me of the coworker of mine who is 8 weeks behind me in pregnancy. She showed me the crib she just bought—for $850. Ours was $75. And she told me about the stroller her mom bought her, for $1200. Ours was free from a friend. We are probably going to get all the prep baby stuff we need for LESS than what she paid for her crib. But then she is engaged to/living with a guy who drives a $150000 car, and they just bought a big house on the water… so, I guess that baby is set. But really, $ can't buy happiness… and I don't think she is very happy. She's only known the guy since Nov. got engaged in Dec. And he has a history of being a player. But who am I to judge. She can take care of herself… I just wish she was with a better guy, I guess.
And on the bright side, if we find a place for under 200000 (which I think we can, from the searching I've done) in one of the cities we'd like to live in, we'd already have enough for a down payment.
And we do have a real estate agent looking around for us. I went on mls.ca a few times, and I'd like to email him links to all the places I'd like to see. I should do that tonight—gotta get his email address.
Tomek will be finishing a huge side job soon, and we'll get $ from that, minus the cost of our wedding bands since they are where we got ours from.
I'd really like to nuke all our lines of credit… and just have one credit card that we pay off each month. I don't like the outstanding balances out there, slowly sucking more money out of us. So it's been hard to delegate where the money should go towards, paying off LOCs or using them as a down payment.
It's a lot of responsibility and decisions to make that feel BIG, but as long as we look at it as an adventure, something we are tackling together, I think we'll be ok.
5 comments:
I love the tummy-to-tummy pic.
and you're right, money can't buy happiness. I do think that sometimes getting help from family on big purchases (i.e. downpayment for a house) can be a really good thing. it's not like you're not going to pay his parents back... and besides, whenever you do buy a place you'll be technically hugely in debt (the mortgage) to the bank, anyways. and yes, while they're taking it out of their line of credit, it's something they feel comfortable doing, which is why they've offered it to you. maybe you could structure your repayment plan so that you pay them a few days before their interest is due, and that way they won't be too out of the loop for their repayment.
I say go for it. it's an incredible chance for you guys. structure the repayment so that you're comfortable with it... it might help ease your mind.
couple things here, my friend. first. love this post. its kinda random in some spots and very phx. i dig it. second. credit. if youre buying a house, a mortgage is a good thing. credit cards on the other hand are evil pure and simple. third. and lastly. did i read that figure right? youre looking at a 200 thousand dollar house for your first home? ouch.
moi: i know the $ from his parents is a great opportunity... but I can't quell my gut feeling that there will be strings attached in some way. Something about the situation is making me balk. I don't know what exactly.
ghost: thanks. as for the 200 grand, no we'd like a place that costs MUCH less than that, but real estate here is crazy sky rocketing, and anything that is 2 bedroom in the 2 or 3 cities closest to where Tomek and I work are that expensive.
Buying a house is a huge step in life. It is scary and thrilling both. I went from my little apartment to a 3 bedroom house with a mortgage payment twice what I was paying in rent. It's an adjustment to say the least. But it's a good one. I'm still 'spiffing up' as you. I hope to get new living room furniture in a couple of weeks. It's taken me two years just to feel comfortable doing that. But I've been lucky in my job situation in that I've gotten pay increases that help. It really is worth it. I love being able to park my cars in a garage, piddle in the flower bed, or sit out on the deck at night which are things I couldn't do in an apartment. Especially with LB on the way, I think it's a great thing for you guys.
I thought "pelvic massage" was a euphemism for sex.
I used to think credit and debt were evil. When I was young, I racked up some decent damage via credit cards and got myself mired in paying them off. That sucked, and I held a grudge against credit cards for a long time. But the reality is that credit and debt are practically impossible for the average joe to avoid. Buying a house is impossible without going into debt. Buying a car is difficult to do without taking a loan. This it the way of our society and economy.
In my opinion, credit and debt are financial tools for us to use. However, every time you put something on a credit card or take out a loan you are basically reducing present and future income. Sometimes this is a good idea. When we bought our house, we paid more than we could afford. This meant we accrued credit card debt from month to month for about two years after we bought our house. We still float that balance on our cards, but since then my income has caught up with, and exceeded, our mortgage. Now we're no longer strapped from month to month, but now a good chunk of money is going to credit card debt. I have no ill will toward my current credit card balance, because I firmly believe that we did the right thing. We bought a house, which is (most likely) the biggest and best financial investment I will make in my life.
In summary, credit and debt are financial tools. Any tool is neither good nor evil; good and evil come from the manner in which the tool is used.
Post a Comment