Resting

How long can I keep this charade up at work? How long should I wait until I tell them I'm pregnant? I'm home from work today because last night I was so dizzy I felt like my head was going to pop off. I had that dull ache at the base of my skull and everything was swimming around me. But I did eat. And it stayed down... basically. I ate KFC poutine. Why is it that now I can only keep down junk food? Is there some magically deadly ingredient in the grease they boil/fry/kill all that stuff in? I don't want to think about it.

So I'm home and I should be resting, but I'm cleaning instead. My mom is coming up on Friday to go with me and my empress-of-honour (we decided "maid" was too plain) to see my wedding dress, find the EOH a dress, and go out for lunch, maybe find some shoes to go with my dress, which I actually really need to find before they hem it. And for $100 they can put a lace-up back in it... and that back on a wedding dress is gorgeous I think. Mm, pictures. I can't post pictures because a) I can't find a picture of my dress and b) If i post a picture of my dress, then Tom will know what it looks like, and he can't know till I walk down the aisle. But I can email you all a link of what it sort of looks like.

Back to cleaning, yes I'm going to slowly clean like a fiend today, and then go tutor tonight. We just have so much shit that needs to be gotten rid of, put away or burned. I'm going to try to get some of it under control tonight.

Tom's been writing some really sweet posts lately, you should check them out.

I hope the good vibe we are floating on continues after we are married and the little bean is born. I mean, right now we have so much to look forward to, but I hope it's all still as positive after the newness has faded.

Now I'm thankful that there was such a gap between my brother's and I (8 and 9 years). Because I can remember changing diapers and cleaning bums and bathing them and dressing them, and walking them and holding them and feeding them and burping them. Mind you I have obviously never breast-fed, and I still don't know that I'll be able to do that in public, though I may not have a choice. But I don't feel really totally clueless about what to do after they are born, just before they are born. I dont' really even understand yet what is going on inside me. Every time I try to watch that preggo movie, I feel like I'm going to be sick.

Next week I have a doctor appointment on Tuesday to get a little check up, and on Wednesday at 1 p.m. I have to get an ultrasound. So after that I'll have to tell the people at work. Probably before the ultrasound. That's a lot of time I'm taking off work, plus I left 2 1/2 hours early one day last week for a prenatal. I made up the time by coming in early, but still, I'm sure people will start to wonder. And now that I've freed myself from all my "friends"at work, it's up to me to break the news when I think I should, not when anyone tells me I should.

After we are married,Tom and I are going to try to buy a place. Before I go on mat-leave or mat-quit. I love where we live now, but it seems while the rent is cheap, the houses and condos are very expensive. I'd like to get a townhouse, but I think that's a bit out of our reach--we'll have to start with a condo I suppose and work our way up.

And it's looking more and more unlikely that we'll get to have Polish food at our wedding--there is only one Polish restaurant that we could find in this whole area, and it is far east of us. Not too far, but too far to try to drag a bunch of out of town wedding guests too. It would be ideal if we could have the wedding and reception at the same place I guess. The chapel we liked only holds 80 people including the wedding party, but it is available on our date. I just dn't think that is going to be big enough. So I need to look for another cozy chapel.

But first, I gotta clean the bathroom.